I never really talk about sex here, but I’m definitely a sexual being. Uh oh, while on the porch just now, the UPS driver, sporting his knee-length brown canvas shorts and flexing calf muscles, dropped off a package just a few feet away from me. If I hadn’t had thoughts of sex on my mind, I might not have indulged in that split-second daydream of a nude beach ball pool party, but I did.
During my last therapy session, a female client recommended I watch “HiJack”. I pulled up IMDB, saw the face, and gave her cock-eyed look, “Oh, Idris Elba.” She smiled slyly and nodded, “Oh yeah, any woman who breathes is all about that.” Together, we shared a moment of swooning in a sexual hammock of lust before diving deep into… What were we even talking about?
I have a love/hate relationship with my sexuality. Certain things, like Idris Elba, feel safe, and I’m fully on board with keeping a certain distance in our one-sided love affair. But then there are things closer to home that set off my sexy alarms, only to have them shut down automatically. For example, a couple of months ago, I was walking back to my office after getting an iced coffee. As I passed by a window, a man and I locked eyes, and a tingly sensation rushed through me. I thought, “Wahooooo. I’m desirable, how fun!” But shortly after, a pang of guilt hit me: “What about your husband?”
Riding the waves of my sexuality, feeling the spray on my face, the board beneath me, and the wet strands whipping around is one of my favorite experiences in life. Of course, I do all of this within the bounds of monogamy. So, I nurture this part of myself with a sexy movie (like “Room In Rome” from 2000), remind my husband to communicate his desires, and if I happen to exchange a little flirtation with the mailman, I do so confidently, thanks to my straight-toothed smile – a souvenir from my braces at seven.
Thanks for dropping into my blog. Happy sexcapades to all!
Love, Jaclynn
PS. After doing a report on STDs in graduate school, I learned that the nursing home population had the highest rise in numbers. So, yes, grandma is definitely getting busy!
Going On 40 