I find solace in writing, it’s a form of therapy. Don’t you agree?
I’ve quite a reputation for overbooking myself. To illustrate, I typically reserve Fridays for personal time, but on some occasions when two, three, or even four clients need my attention, I bid adieu to Evelyn and Dave and drive down to my office.
As I reflect on maintaining the “I can’t meet at that time” mindset that I’ve cultivated this vacation, I realize I want to ensure it continues when I return to my routine. At present, it’s been relatively straightforward doing therapy virtually; I act as my own secretary, managing my schedule from behind a screen. If there’s no availability or I don’t wish to make any, I simply say, “Sorry, but Ms. Loibl can only see you next week.” This becomes much easier when I don’t have the pressure of someone gazing at me in person with their beguiling brown, green, blue, or hazel eyes, with a “pretty please.”
Nonetheless, I believe it goes beyond the amount of people I see. It’s also about the quality of my days. Take, for instance, my current routine during this final week of vacation – ample time for writing, practicing Spanish, sharing meals with my family, and leisurely walks in the neighborhood.
My “me time” is destined to dwindle soon, and just acknowledging it sends my heart racing and my sight into a tunnel.
So, what’s the plan? Can I handle it?
Honestly, I think I can. It’s been a month away and during that time I’ve made significant changes. I’ve bid farewell to Facebook, the platform where I often compared myself to others, decluttered and organized my phone, and unsubscribed from countless junk and advertising emails. I’ve trimmed away time-wasting activities and mental clutter, which has led to reduced tolerance for them when they resurface.
But how do I maintain this newfound discipline? One idea is to monitor that heart-racing, tunnel vision response when it comes to work-related matters. So far today, it has occurred only once, which seems reasonable. My body is expressing concern about my future work self, and I’m paying heed.
I want to continue listening to these cues, and to know that I’ve got my own back. The people I work with will be alright; this time away has made that abundantly clear. I need the assurance that I will consistently prioritize myself, and perhaps creating a plan for handling individuals who tend to demand more of my time than others is the next step in proving to myself that I can and will do just that.
Oh, I quite like that idea!
With two days of vacation remaining, I anticipate more savoring of delicious meals, indulging in my writing, strolling the neighborhood, and moments with my loved ones. Simultaneously, I’m pumped to return home, where I can wield control over my kitchen, sink into the familiar comfort of my own bed, and bid adieu to those disposable razors in favor of my trusty safety razor.
Alright, it’s time for me to sign off. Wishing you all the best on your own journey of self-care and balance.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 