“You can come up here if you want,” I urge, but the sideways c-curve of his ear upturns subtly, showing interest but not full belief. So I soprano my voice at the word towards the end of the sentence, “Do you want?” And he’s up, jumping his 80-pound, 7-year-old frame, rising like a gentle cloud. His agility for his size is impressive as he slinks, paw-crawling himself parallel to me. It’s a night when Dave is off playing board games, so Archie and I don’t hear any disapproval of our human-dog bed cuddles.
Anyway, I had an interesting revelation about myself today. It’s one where you might want to gently slap your forehead and say “Duh,” but still, for me, it’s an epiphany.
I need space, specifically in relationships. I haven’t been able to effectively communicate this need other than through silence, avoidance, or a metaphorical “May Day, May Day” bailout of the situation. As you might guess, each of these options provides me the breathing room I need but often without an explanation to the other person. That I just… don’t. I don’t like. And I’ve longed for a less complicated solution, one that’s kinder.
Enter Jaclynn 2.0. An updated model that’s able to effectively communicate her need for space. This update is free of glitches such as ghosting. The update even comes with no strings attached, meaning she won’t even apologize for having this need. A win-win for all! No fuss, no mess, just direct and kind communication coming to a conversation near you in Fall 2023.
I asked ChatGPT for taglines for this new Jaclynn phenomenon, and in no particular order, we have: “Caution: Frequent Ponderer Ahead,” “Warning: Zen Mode Engaged,” “Alert: Daydreamer Detected,” “Disclaimer: May Enter Stealth Mode,” and “Caution: Thoughtful Pause Expert.”
Well, that was fun. But since I’m a little spent from a longer-than-usual workday, I shall bow out and fulfill my promise to myself by completing my progress notes for the day. Six to go. Now, give me my damn space already!
Love, Jaclynn.
Going On 40 