I feel tension between my brows, and I’m less receptive today, but I can’t pinpoint why. I hate wasting time. I have the time, and I love the feeling of productivity, but when I accomplish nothing, I feel like a useless blob. A blog, I mean blob. It’s frustrating to see myself as a blob.
Working without the structure of an office with colleagues often leaves me feeling like I’m adrift in the lazy river of my own mind. It’s frustrating.
Now that I’m back home, my mood has improved. A short counseling session with a friend, trying on my perfectly fitting full-sized dragon pajamas for Halloween, and a few other things have lightened my spirits. Maybe it’s the delicious Jimmy John’s sub I had and the success I’ve been feeling in my last four counseling sessions.
One small victory is a counseling session came when one family member agreed to stop using offensive language when referring to another family member. It may have taken time for them to realize the disrespect and boundary overstep, but we eventually reached an understanding: “Okay, I won’t say it anymore.”
It’s only our second counseling session, but I’d say we’re making some progress!
I’ve been inspired by a captivating food critic on TikTok. Watching him devour an entire buffalo wing and emerge with nothing but bones, followed by his enthusiastic “Whooeee,” sends me into a foodgasm. Even though he’s reviewing restaurants in lesser-known, off-strip regions of Las Vegas, I’m ready to plan an entire trip based on his recommendations.
I’ve also found my stride in the realm of book hunting. I previously mentioned my disappointment with “Daisy Jones and the Six,” particularly the constant character switching that prevented me from connecting with any of them. Now, I’ve started reading “A Thousand Splendid Suns,” written by the same author as “The Kite Runner,” a book I loved years ago. I’m already 15% into the book, fully invested, and anxious about the main character’s future in a country where being an illegitimate teenager means being married off to a much older man. I’m eager to see how she handles her fate.
I’m also on the lookout for a gripping suspense or horror book. I wonder if I’ll react the same way I did as a kid when I read Stephen King under the covers with a flashlight, creating a sauna-like atmosphere with my breath. I hope to find something equally enthralling.
With my exceptional bedtime routine with Evelyn, I’ve allocated ten minutes to each task – changing into her pajamas, reading, brushing my teeth, and getting into bed. Surprisingly after nailing the first three, she didn’t need her usual bedtime escort. I was so skeptical of the smooth transition that I peeked in to find her tucked under the covers with her “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” comic book. She can’t read it yet, but the graphics, expressions, and action in the comics have her captivated.
Isn’t it funny how even when positive results happen, we can still be skeptical?
With one hour to go before 10 p.m., I’m thinking of using it to read another 10% of my book, or thereabouts.
I hope you had a wonderful fall Tuesday.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 