Instead of plucking the three whiskers under my chin, I trimmed them back, and since I’m not a waxer, I took my safety razor to my mustache. It’s a new year, it’s a new you has been my tongue-and-cheek motto for this final day of 2023.
Upon seeing the brightly lit cosmetic arrangements of Maybelline, L’Oréal, NYX, and E.L.F. at Target I had a mini panic session. I was sure other women knew I didn’t have a clue what I’m doing.
I used to be knowledgeable, daring even, confident in knowing my shade for foundation, and loving fun lip and eyeshadow colors. Yet today, far removed from the person I was ten years ago, some Ponds dry face cream was my only need. But the nostalgia, the endless time, drifting from aisle to aisle, the stealthy pump and rub into my skin, to spy myself in a mirror came like a call of the wild to a wolf.
With so many new products, and not having a clue which was preferable to the next, TikTok’s influencers came to my rescue. Their reviews and confidence pushed me to new heights; in addition to the $7 product I came for, eight other items totaling $90 came home with me.
At one point, a little voice said, you know you’re buying into all this because you’ve been marketed to and made to think you need this stuff. Yes, I know.
But I smell delicious, and Dave liked my shiny new lip color. So, is it all that bad?
Up next is a short drive to our friends for a New Year’s Eve party. Five kids, three couples, and my super bomb appetizer of beer cheese with carrots, broccoli, and fatty pretzels for dipping. Ooh! And I mastered making rolls; they’re the fluffiest and won’t be too bad dipped in the cheese, I imagine.
It’s 9:11pm. I lost it in game five in the game Codeword. I had to make them guess the words mint, cycle and something else but my clue of inflation was too obscure.
Since there are so many kids I anticipated celebrating new year at 9pm. But I was wrong. It’s 10:27pm and yawning is happening. Can I go home now?
Oh, wait! I spoke too soon. Cards Against Humanity is on the coffee table, the rules are getting explained, and cards are being shuffled. I’m perking up, this game’s just enough dirty and funny to be right up my alley.
It’s 11:40, and getting closer to that time. I better focus up. If you’re sleeping, I’m jealous.
Happy New Year!
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 