I forget how strong I am, only remembering when I push myself or am pushed past my perceived limits. Today during my walk, a higher gear hit me, an unexpected desire to run. Though I didn’t run today, being early into a new exercise routine, I know it’s in there, that part of me that pushes is alive and ready to roll.
With a 134 bpm average for the three-mile walk today, I’m setting a tone that could lead to a goal of running races again. As I mentioned, I love running. There’s this opening in my chest when I do it, a pace I keep that my body cruises at, and the curiosity of how far can I or will I go. All of which is so my jam.
I’ve run several 5k’s, two 10k’s, and one-half marathon. I wonder if a 26.2-mile marathon is in the cards for me someday? I imagine the race would have to be in one of the most beautiful places in the world to make it worth my while. Although it’s been six years since the Star Wars half-marathon I did at DisneyWorld – and what a cool venue that was! – time and my body has moved on since then, but my spirit is burning strong like the bonfire at a high school party.
Christmas decor – hand towels, coffee mugs, wall hangings – is slowly but surely making its way into a pile to be sorted, given away, or stored. Likely, this is our last Christmas in this house, and I feel a bittersweet feeling, similar, I imagine, to the lead-up to Seinfeld’s last season on air or Kobe Bryant’s lead up to his final game. All things end and move forward, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t an achy feeling in my chest and a sadness in my heart.
There’s also piano music playing on my phone that’s creating a mood, the backdrop of it calming, but eerily similar to a melody a church member plays as people filter in to grieve the passing of a loved one. Let’s change the vibe, shall we? Dang Harry Styles with “Sign of the Times” isn’t helping, it is just another deep, soulful song that’s sustaining this reflective, slightly morose mood.
I’m trying to capture a thought, an idea to dig into and float off with a hundred balloons into the sky like the old man’s house in the movie “Up”. But I’m on the ground. Practical. Gotta clean up the bathroom of the unplayed-with toys and strewn-about clothes, and maybe even used the hand vacuum to pick up Dave and my long head hairs.
I often ask myself, “What do you want to do?” In response, thoughts of reading a book, watching a TV show, responding to an email, eating, washing the dog, or playing a game with Evelyn or Dave float in and out of my mind, the ideas are a buffet of choices. I try to balance the things I want to do with the need to, the selfish things with selfless so that when I lay my head down on the oversized pillow tomorrow, I’ll feel good about myself and so the next day’s list won’t feel so daunting.
I have a fun day planned for tomorrow. A close friend dinner date and Christmas present exchange, as a birthday party for one of Evelyn’s friends. Walking as a new hobby excites me, where, oh where, do I walk tomorrow? Perhaps I could find a cool wooded trail. I imagine walking will become for me like someone who golfs and how wherever they go on vacation they’ll also book themselves a round of eighteen.
Before I get to bed, I need to share Day 5’s Dad joke from of our year-long calendar that’ll be followed by a joke my friend told me after I told her today’s daily joke. Ready?
- I once entered the World Championship Kleptomaniac competition and took Gold, Silver, and Bronze.
- It’s hard to explain jokes to kleptomaniacs because they always take things, literally.
Love ya, Jaclynn
Going On 40 