The latest part in the “Five Things We Cannot Change” book is about saying yes. And I’m a fan. Reality is what it is, and people do what they do, when we stay in a “yes” mentality, we don’t add unrealistic expectations, or shoulds, or impose our will and control on it. Sure, I will react but then I accept.
“Til the end huh?” I knowingly emailed in response to a friend after they shared that their name and their position in the family as “son” did not appear in their parent’s obituary. “Until the end,” they replied, validating the years of rejection they’d felt at the relationship’s hand.
However, something about imagining a future moment when we’d be discussing their complicated feelings about their dad, made me feel uncomfortable with them—specifically the bitterness, spite, and “I was right” mentality they’d possibly have.
What is it about those feelings that make me squirm in my seat? My first thought was they’re not preferable; they’re not the “best” place to be. A place of acceptance, of peace, of tying a wonderfully fluffy and bouncy bow on the entire relationship is where they need to be, and if they’re not there, I don’t approve.
Kind of goes back to the accepting reality huh?
Because who am I to say how someone else should feel? This part of me, the righteous queen on her throne casting judgments and best practices, is nothing more than a witch masquerading her “I know best” mentality. Which I definitely don’t in this case.
The weather is Winnie the Pooh on the blustery day. There’s a landslide advisory in effect due to the inches of rain on oversaturated land, but for this moment, all is calm. Earlier the sideways rain wet my work pants and flowed under the hood of my jacket, leading me inside, to speed walking two laps along the outer walls of Fred Meyer for my journey towards 10,000 steps. I contemplated a third but didn’t want any surveillance workers to question if I was casing the joint, and also, the weather improved.
(Not to self: Socks. I must remember to bring and wear socks. The rubbing on the outside of my foot is creating a red raspberry. I know I love barefootedness, but on walks/jogs is not the time.)
How would you like our daily Dad joke calendar as a added bonus to these posts? You would? Great!
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 