I am not gung ho to write. “Gung ho,” I think, what in the heck does that even mean? Wikipedia tells me it’s “neither a slogan nor a battle cry, and is merely a Chinese organization.” I go don’t to learn: A Major in the Marine Corps in World War II viewed the Chinese devoting themselves to one idea and worked to see that idea through. He anted something similar for his troops and “Gung ho” brought troops into harmony and encouraged them to be overly enthusiastic.
With just a word?
Well, like I said, I’m not gung ho.
I think it’s because I look around at the untended areas in my life and feel pressure to tell you about them. And to Lament about how the check in the mail wasn’t sent, or maybe it was, and how the builder of our new house has no trust in us. Is that true and am I being dramatic? Yep, that’s me. And that I’m just me, a little messy and unkempt, writing feels like one of those old wooden roller coasters, that if you have any disc problems you probably shouldn’t go on; because they’re rickety and will toss you about.
How much longer can I stand listening to myself talk is a question I have regarding this blog. Every so often I’m annoyed at my ramblings, feel bad you must listen to them, and then want to quit. Am I like Michael Jordan, should I hang up my basketball shoes and tight brief Hanes ads? Not that what I’m doing here is superstar-level or anything, but knowing when to quit is what I’m talking about.
How about this? I go for eight more years, hit the ten-year mark, and decide then. For now, I still have more learning and growing to do as a writer, and I enjoy being here.
I just read this quote: “Infinite patience produces immediate results.” I found it interesting that just as I was feeling out of sorts about an outstanding balance, and feeling impatient from not hearing back from the person, I remembered the words, let it go, and moved on with my day. When I returned to my laptop, a resolution was in my inbox. Now, I don’t know about you, but fun coincidences, synchronistic events, or whatever they are, sure are the spice of life, and are little A+ moments in this journey on which we embark.
The “Wisdom of the Ages” book I received in the mail as a gift tells me that patience is: “Absolute knowing. When you know with a complete absence of doubt that what you are doing is consistent with your own purpose and that you are involved in accomplishing a great affair, then you are at peace with yourself and in harmony with your own heroic mission. The sense of peace is your result, and you shift out of the need to see results right now, just as when you know that cuts, scrapes, and injuries will heal as your nature dictates, rather than as your impatient self dictates.”
I wish I was a better ender of blog posts. A nice Jerry Springer wrap-up, or final tying everything into a bow present. Instead, I just jump off the side of the boat, get eaten by a shark, and your forever stapling up Missing Jaclynn posters. I don’t like that for you.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 