There’s nothing quite like a mutually beneficial relationship. Today, I received this message “Putting therapy conversations to work!” and a screenshot of a message exchange. It showed a client I work with (the one with fewer needs) and their friend, the one needing more. Predictably, the friend in greater need is experienced as demanding and intense, causing my client to withdraw, feel annoyed, and off balance.
I advised acknowledging the friend’s needs while suggesting a future time to connect. So to these three unanswered messages— “Hey,” “I love you,” and “Do you have time for a call today?” my client’s response was textbook: “No, I can’t, but I can definitely make time tomorrow.” The friend acknowledged the message with a heart allowing the conversation to move forward smoothly. When we recognize that our needs are just as important as others, we can negotiate in ways where both parties benefit.
I received a referral from a current client today. What a cherry on top that is in a role I already so thoroughly enjoy. As an aside, isn’t job a minimizing word? To me, it’s a choice, a desire, a communion with people that makes me feel fuller at the day’s end. Words like job, client, and work seem like bug screens blocking the rich-colored horizon a moment after sunset on a clear and peaceful day. I know they’re the words to use, but also words suck.
My friend’s dad died, the one I mentioned a couple of times in the past month. Her “I have a question for ya” text set off a mini alarm bell in me, leading to my hurriedly pressing the green phone icon. My fears turned to gratefulness as she simply wanted help writing her father’s obituary. In discussing it further with her, she’s interested in filling in friends and family on the secrets of their bond and how amazing this surfer dude, reformed addict pastor guy, was. I’m all for it, and can’t wait to see what we come up with.
I know it’s weird, but I’m an obituary connoisseur. Come to think of it, a twenty-minute break between that paragraph and this one, I read one. It wasn’t a good one, like the ones with all the highlights and inspirational stuff. It was just dates, times, and places. And worse of all, the funeral happened a week ago. So even if I pretended I wanted to go, I couldn’t.
Before I post more from my book, there’s a conversation I need to have. After I have it, I’ll continue our regularly scheduled airings, paragraph by paragraph. Doing it this way is helpful. I’m accountable and get to edit it, read it aloud to Dave, and then post it. Real checks and balances are going on here. How about if I use a code word in the title of that post, so if you want to pick up where I left off and aren’t interested in reading my daily mumbo jumbo, you can easily find it. How about something complicated and confusing like “Book Continued”?
With an hour left alone in my night—Dave’s playing a board game with friends and Evelyn’s fast asleep—I’ll get a bit of book reading in.
Thank you so much for being here. I really enjoy the support, I couldn’t do this without you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 