While sweeping around the island, the entry, the dining room, the hall, and the living room I couldn’t stop thinking that my kitchen is cleaner than yours. I doggedly fixed on friends, comparing mine to theirs, and determined mine was way better. Usually I punish myself for thinking such things with a Jaclynn, that’s not nice. Upon a second gander and inspection at the judgmental thought, I don’t think it’s mean; instead, it’s an urging onward, “You got this, keep going,” inspirational one.
I’m competitive, and I guess it’s imagining another person’s dirty kitchen that drives me. Who knew?
I’m revved, and I feel it in my chest. There’s a lot pressure I’m putting on myself to clean up and do all the housework before we fly out tomorrow. I know it’ll pay off, especially when I return home in a couple of days, wheel the luggage in, and have a sense of relief knowing how little I have to do.
What remains is to pack, wash Evelyn’s hair, shower, take in the garbage cans, water the plants, and make sure the devices are charged. Oh, and perhaps a notebook to write down the builder’s requirements so I can capture all the to-dos.
It feels like a boulder is on my chest, and I think I know why. I’m afraid I’m missing or will miss something this weekend with the builder. That’s why I need not only the notebook but also to use it. I have yet to do so but the early, simple day home-building choices are gone. In the future, requests of us will increase, and I need to ensure I have a system in place.
Dang, the boulder is still there, even with that solution. What else is creating it? It could be a lost weekend of not doing house painting updates. Which is what it is. But the next weekend? I’ll have plenty of time as there are no line items on any calendar hour except for Dave and my anniversary.
We were married at 6 a.m. on Poipu Beach on 4/20/19, and are hitting that fifth anniversary. Google tells me it’s the wooden gift year, ” as they symbol strength, stability, and enduring love.” Just whittle us something, and we’ll call it good.
Three a.m. will come sooner than I think, with our 6 a.m. flight looming. A far earlier bedtime means I should sign off and talk to you tomorrow from Georgia.
Take care. Love, jaclynn
Going On 40 