All my life, my last name was mispronounced. To get the verbiage to stick in people’s minds, I’d say it’s like “more happiness” or “more glee.” In 2018, I painfully contemplated losing my last name Moergeli. However positive being engaged and anticipating a future with Dave was, becoming a Loibl meant loss. At that time, I was also searching for a name for my business. When the idea came up, it was a win-win for me, and it’s an extra cherry on top that it is still a part of me.
I added the above paragraph to my business website’s “About Me” section earlier.
Uh oh, this post is hijacked by a hoarse-voiced Evelyn: “Mom and me riding bikes together and me ‘Evelyn.’ And my friend Ethan playing on bikes with me on bikes all together. With Mom and Dad.”
“Who are you talking to?” she asks. The concept of me typing interests her. She watches the screen, not asking what I’m typing. If I stop and look around the room, she still looks at the screen. Although words are mostly foreign to her, there are small familiarities with the words “the” and “mom” or the individual letters.
Earlier, she pointed to the calendar in her room, “Is this the month?” she asked, pointing at a chicken, the fifth of twelve pages of poultry images. (Side note: Aren’t free calendars that come in the mail from companies you never give money to fun?) Anyway, frustration set in quickly when I told her that M-A-Y was not the chicken of the month and that the chicken was just an image. She got frustrated after looking over the thirty-one white boxes for the word and not finding it. I feel her frustration and how, when learning something new, it feels like we’re on the verge of understanding, but we keep sinking to the bottom.
After committing to the $21 sunscreen at Target like a robber in a bank, I stopped. The calculations didn’t add up. The teeny weeny can, the twentysomething TikToker’s salesmanship, the handful of similar products I already had at home —I was getting had. By the time I met back up with Dave, I’d put it back. Although I’ll never know how much more nourishing my beauty regime will be, I’m grateful I can say no.
One of my favorite college classes was advertising. I don’t remember anything other than being smacked over the head and feeling more aware as a consumer.
I’m mad at myself for not being fun. Which isn’t true at all! I taped googly eyes all over the bedroom for Dave to find. Googly eyes on top of Waxahatchee’s face on her vinyl record, googly eyes on Dave’s face in a picture of him holding Evelyn, and googly eyes on the outside of his eye mask.
Ok, so I’m fun. But also I don’t like being proven wrong.
Alright, I’m outta here. Wish me luck with only two more days to prep this place.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 