As I type, chip after chip with scoops of dip sends flavor sensations skyrocketing over my taste buds. With a bowl full of freshly mashed avocado, minced garlic, chopped cilantro, and a teaspoon of salt—aka guacamole—I’m simply noticing. These bites are so freaking good, and in this breezy space on the deck allows me to be.
I discovered what crosses the line from communication being an exchange of ideas and turning to conflict. Care to know? Well, the first is attachment to ideas. This stronghold on our thoughts and feelings adds an element of “I know best.” In an exchange, all ideas are neutral and worth considering.
The next variable that leads to conflict is having an agenda. When we tuck these secretive goals in our back pockets, we can deny other people’s ideas. No longer are we just listening. Now, we’re trying to convince, like a lawyer in a courtroom. If you or someone has an agenda, call it out, saying, “I’m open to sharing with you, but I’m getting the impression you’re trying to convince me of something.” Then add, “And that doesn’t work for me.”
If only one of us wins, everyone loses. Am I right? Well, not right, but maybe I have an ok idea?
Today, Dave and I drafted a letter to the proposed buyers of our house. Despite feeling that one of their requests was unreasonable, I am pleased with our ability to express why we think so and share our needs. If we can keep this kind of communication flowing, we’ll find a win-win for the buyers and us.
Navigating Evelyn’s maniacal giggling fits and painful cries in a five-second turnaround is intense. Due to yet another nightly leg cramp, I’m taking action by picking up Magnesium supplements and possibly Potassium while we’re shopping for floaties at Fred Meyer tomorrow. What in the heck was I thinking anyway? In getting rid of everything except the kitchen sink, how did I think I would live a life of luxury on the lake without floatation devices for our final month?
Silly me!
Time to study Spanish and then slide into two days of 80-degree weather and swims in the lake.
Take care! Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 