I’m in a hurry and write mood. It’s pedal to the metal (not medal, Jaclynn) so I can slink into bed for sleep. Another boom. Although five days ahead of the 4th, the fireworks go off once every fifteen to thirty minutes. The booms are most likely M-80 firecrackers. With our windows open to cool down our top-floor bedroom the sudden noise is a shock to the system. Poor Archie dog’s ears.
I don’t buy fireworks. Just like I don’t take $100 bills and light them on fire.
Evelyn leveled up to being a “big girl.” At Ranchito #2 in Enumclaw today, she saw the lid and straw over her water cup, compared it to our double-sized ones with no lids and straws, and whimpered, “I don’t want a kids’ one; I’m big.” It’s coming up a lot, and I foresee similar protests in the forever days ahead.
I’m irritated with Evelyn more often than I’d like. Her hard-edged “No!” sends a shiver down my spine. In our family, we help each other, and when she refuses, it’s hard. Since I can’t make her do anything, I rely on consequences to encourage the desired behavior. I hate it. Today, she put her shoes on the side of the restaurant’s table, pushing it out of position. She did this twice after I asked her to put her feet down. When she continued to do it and watched my reaction, I got irritated, and resorted to a “You’re going to get your laptop taken away for the rest of the week.” I suppose that’s more of a punishment than a consequence.
What I’m most uncomfortable with is the feeling I get—like I’m controlling her or something. In turn, why wouldn’t she react negatively to being controlled? We’d be on better footing if I leveled with her instead of saying it as a directive (something she responds positively to).
I don’t want to be the enemy. Reminding myself that I want her to feel loved and connected to me will help guide me in tougher moments.
I plan to read a Spanish parenting book once I finish writing. It’s called, “El cerebro afirmativo del niño: Ayuda a tu hijo a ser más resiliente, autónomo y creativo,” which in English is “The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child.” Learning Spanish and parenting—how’s that for a two-birds-with-one-stone activity?
Today, my oldest friend Laura helped fulfill a dream of mine to walk down memory lane. We drove down both her and my childhood driveways, pointed out our old ballet studios, and commented on house after house with the first and last names of friends or acquaintances we knew once lived there—or still do. It was very fun.
I better get on to the book. I’ll see you here tomorrow.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 