“What’s that? What’s that?” Evelyn asked, her little voice breaking through the noise. I was too busy reading the emergency weather alert on my phone, distracted by the obnoxious, repeating sound. It took me a second to snap out of it, like a boxer recovering from a right hook. I helped Evelyn understand that high winds were on their way and, if needed, our encapsulated crawl space could be a safe spot. Her concern about food down there was met with my reminder of the leftover spaghetti sauce from dinner and the stocked pantry.
But that wasn’t all. We had our first conversation of its kind today. “Four and three-quarter” Evelyn saw something before dinner that I wasn’t sure how to explain. The TV was paused on a news story—a devastating explosion in Lebanon that had killed hundreds of people. Evelyn saw the image and thought it was fireworks. I told her, no, it was a bomb. And her expression went from interest to concern. Then the questions came.
“Did it hit a town?”
“Yes.”
“Did people die?”
“Yes.”
“Did other people do it?”
“Yes.”
Her sweet face showed confusion and concern. “Did ambulance people die?” she asked. I told her I didn’t know, but they might have. Later, while eating her spaghetti, she said softly, “That is not okay, what happened to that town.”
It was the first time we’ve ever talked about something like that. I felt a mix of pride and hesitation—pride that she was empathetic, but hesitation about how much to tell her. It hit me then that I wanted to give her enough information so she could understand the world, but I also wanted to help her process it in a way that didn’t overwhelm her. I don’t want to shelter her, but I do want to filter things. It’s a delicate balance, and I don’t always know when and how to have these conversations.
As for the storm, her initial worry about the crawl space faded once she realized we had food down there. But I could still see a trace of unease in her eyes. How much do I share to comfort her without overloading her?
These moments remind me that parenting is a constant weighing of how much to reveal and when. I’m still learning how to strike that balance between truth and protection.
Thanks so much for being here with me. Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 