I sat there like a freshly cut stump, thinking about the direction of my life. With my body planted on the shower’s tiled floor, water poured over my head, streaming down my neck, arms, back, and legs. Just like every other time I’d broken down on a shower floor, seeking the heat’s healing properties, I knew this place would soothe me.
I watched a water droplet trace the glass door, down the path of least resistance, sparking memories of sitting in the shower as a kid. Time used to disappear as I’d draw on the foggy glass, my world focused on simple shapes, until my mom or dad would holler, “Jack, time to get out!”
Today, a drop became the neck of a giraffe. My finger added a parallel line for it back, then came ears, a nose, and a not so good eye that changed to its nose when another drop of water hit, perfecting its caricature. That tall, happy giraffe took shape, and somehow, just drawing it made everything in me settle. When more steam and drips erased my drawing, except for the faint outline of an ear and a smudged face, I felt myself breathing easier, reminded that things would be alright.
The weight of the election is heavy, with tomorrow being the last day. I’m hopeful Kamala will win, but I had the same confidence for Hillary in 2016. I won’t let myself feel any one way until the results are clear.
Things have felt off with Dave and me. If there’s one way to go through a funk, though, it’s with your person by your side—extra snuggles and quiet time together is how we’re handling it. I wonder if he could use some time to draw little creatures on the shower wall too.
Dave Matthews on vinyl fills the room, Evelyn’s spinning a top she got on Halloween, and Dave is on his Kindle beside me. Archie’s snoozing smack in the middle of the floor; the only light in the room is the lamp next to me. Noticing how dark it was, I asked the culprit, Evelyn, why all the lights were out. “For the show,” she said, giving me that deliberate blink that only a ketchup-stained kid with a cheeseburger grin can give.
So, the show begins. Evelyn’s kicking a ball, belting into her karaoke machine, and dancing her heart out. The whole family—including Archie—is up and bobbing along.
It’s been a day, and even though it had its moments, it was a really good one.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 