Here’s a writing exercise focused on capturing the nuances of something deeply familiar. I chose the first counseling session. This scenario reflects the blend of vulnerability, curiosity, and mutual discovery that sets the foundation for the therapeutic relationship. Below is a dialogue inspired by countless introductions.
I adjust the chair slightly and place my just-filled water on the table beside me—a subtle ritual before every new session. Following behind me, the client sits on the couch.
“Come on in!” My voice is upbeat, aiming to soften the edges of their nervous energy.
“Hi there. I’m Jaclynn,” I say, standing but keeping a comfortable distance. “It’s nice to meet you.”
They nod, settling into the couch. “Hi. Uh, so do I just start? I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say. This is my first time doing anything like this.”
“That’s okay,” I reassure them. “There’s no right way. I know you mentioned your relationship on the phone. Want to share more about it?”
They take a breath. “I guess… I’ve been feeling kind of stuck. Like, things aren’t terrible, but they’re not great either. I just feel like we’re doing the same things repeatedly.”
I nod slowly, matching their thoughtful tone. “Tell me more about what you mean by ‘the same things.’”
Relaxing a little, they sit back on the couch. “The same arguments. Whenever we get into a disagreement, he shuts down.”
I lean in slightly, my tone gentle but direct. “On the phone, you mentioned feeling anxious about your and your husband’s communication styles. Tell me more about that.”
Their face shifts, a mixture of frustration and weariness. “He avoids confrontation. It’s this pattern where I want to talk, hash things out, and he doesn’t. I don’t know how to get through to him.”
“What are your arguments usually about?” I ask, leaning back to give them space.
“He’s too easy on our daughter, and then I have to be the bad guy. I hate it.”
“How long has this been going on?”
They sigh. “It’s gotten gradually worse, but I’d say a couple of years. We tried counseling once, but he felt like the therapist and I were ganging up on him.”
I nod, validating their experience. “That’s hard—and honestly, it’s a really common feeling that one person in a couple can have.”
“It’s always something with him. I’m past my breaking point. I told him we either figure this out now or I’m gone.”
“Have you considered that the approach you’re taking might feel threatening to him?” I ask gently.
Their brow furrows. “I didn’t. I don’t want that—I’m just so tired.”
“I get that, and that’s okay. I imagine the pressure of being threatened isn’t helping, but feeling tired? That makes sense, and it’s something we can work with.”
They exhale, their voice trembling slightly. “I am tired. Oh, so tired.”
“If you’ve tried all these different things over the years, and things have just gotten worse, that makes sense.”
“I just need him to listen to me.”
“Would he be interested in coming to a session with you?”
They shake their head. “No, he’d never. He told me that.”
“That’s fine—I was just curious. It seems like him listening is really important to you, and your approach, if received as a threat…” The thought lingers, leaving room for exploration.
Thanks for dropping by. Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 