To be better humans, we first need to show up for ourselves. The first episode of the How to Be a Better Human podcast focuses on emotional health—specifically loneliness and vulnerability—and it hits close to home.
I know firsthand how shame and self-blame have kept me stuck in unhealthy emotional states. One insight from the podcast stood out to me: don’t wait until you’re in crisis mode to check in with yourself. Self-reflection should be a daily practice.
Earlier today, after a much-needed sisterly love call with my friend Kristen, Dave mentioned I’d left him with a crying Evelyn. His comment felt like an attack, and I withdrew immediately, withholding myself from him. I felt justified and frustrated by his approach, then found myself caught in a loop of helplessness and disconnection.
Dave noticed the shift—less eye contact, more distance between us—and responded by reaching out, offering not one but two hugs. Slowly, the ice melted. About an hour later, I felt myself softening, returning to a more balanced, less defensive state.
Right now, I am easily offended, and this vulnerable state reminds me that I need to build resilience—to strengthen my ability to sit with discomfort so my emotional rebound time shortens.
Vulnerability – isn’t it such a double-edged sword? On one hand, it’s the outstretched hand, the acknowledgment of need—something undeniably beautiful and poetic. But it’s also the risk of rejection, the fear of being sent back to that lonely, empty place.
To truly thrive, we must create space for vulnerability. This means embracing our sensitivity and recognizing the care it represents, even if others may not always meet us where we are—or sometimes, they will. Becoming better for ourselves requires confronting isolation, loneliness, and the fear of rejection. It’s about taking the risk to connect, knowing that the comfort and care we discover can make it all worthwhile.
The podcast also emphasized the practice of gratitude—not generic, “I like the sun” gratitude, but something specific to your day. They recommended noting three things.
Here’s mine:
- I’m grateful for the satisfying feeling of smoothing white caulk into the crack between my desk and the wall with my finger.
- I’m grateful for a husband who leans in to comfort me, even when I might be wrong.
- I’m grateful for a best friend who told me how much she loves me and looks up to me this morning during our phone call.
What about you? What are you grateful for today?
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 