After watching a video on Beducated—a website offering a wide range of educational content about relationships and intimacy—Dave and I started discussing our shared visions and goals for our family. We brainstormed ideas, like incorporating more physical activity into our routine, such as walking or biking to places like the library or hardware store instead of driving.
I appreciate this kind of intentional thinking. So much of our time recently has been consumed with selling one house and building another, and now that we’re settled, it feels like we’ve been coasting without a clear purpose.
Which has me thinking; that I want a full life. I want relationships that are connected and playful, fulfilling house projects, and personal challenges like learning a musical instrument, improving my conversational Spanish, and pushing myself physically—whether through running races or trying a self-defense class.
Some of these dreams feel big, and I catch myself feeling defeated before I’ve even started as if I’m asking too much of myself. But really, all I’m doing is brainstorming—dreaming up ideas that align with my goals. I’m not committing to all of them yet. Another goal I have is sustainability: meeting myself where I am. I can’t run a 10k today, but I could in six months. I can’t play a song on the guitar yet, but I can press my fingers on the strings to start building calluses.
From past goal-setting experiences, I know the importance of breaking goals into smaller steps. For example, I could look up martial arts studios or read articles about people’s first visits to them to set realistic expectations. I imagine walking into a dojo for the first time would feel nerve-wracking, like being a fish out of water. Preparing myself ahead of time could make it less intimidating.
Speaking of taking steps, the woman I mentioned yesterday—the one I hope to become friends with—I suggested we go hiking together. Her emphatic “yes” and excitement about having a hiking buddy felt like such a warm, affirming moment. It was a reminder of how much I needed that connection—and that she did too.
Now, for my grateful moments:
- I’m grateful that our house is just two doors down from Evelyn’s best friend, Emma. Today, when Emma got off school early, she came over to play. They had a blast with the lava pillow game, a round of Uno, and a picnic on the front lawn.
- I’m grateful for the guy on the motorcycle who pulled into our driveway to let Dave know the concrete around our pool will be poured tomorrow.
- I love that we live in the kind of place where communication happens via motorcycle!
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 