I gave up trying to lend a napkin as a landing pad to a baby daddy longlegs crawling across the bed. I have more important things to do, like writing. Instead, I ushered him toward Dave’s side, though now I’m wondering what’s stopping him from inching his way back to mine.
Anyway, onto more pressing matters—like staying sane during a nearly six-hour drive without losing it completely. My solution? Assigning myself a mission: I became the unofficial Roadway Safety Monitor.
Thanks to Google Maps’ roadside incident alerts, I took it upon myself to confirm every stalled vehicle it flagged. With every sighting, I proudly announced, “Yep, it’s still there.” There was even one moment when I spotted a police officer who had just pulled someone over and got to be the first to mark it for other drivers. When Dave, from the backseat where he and Evelyn were playing with her new stuffies, said, “Good job, Jaclynn,” I felt like my contribution was officially validated.
But honestly? I’m feeling behind. Stuck in a grind. This is the time to dig deep and see what I’m made of, but… what if I’m just a wet noodle? That’s how I feel right now—limp, tired, and flailing.
Vacationing has thrown a wrench in my eating habits, and I’m worried I won’t get back on track with my weight loss goals. On top of that, I’m behind on a couple of progress notes for work. And don’t even get me started on the pile of clothes spilling out of my suitcase—it’s reached bonfire-worthy status.
Oh, and Gatlinburg? Let’s talk about that for a second. Their parking situation made me want to scream. Between the inaccessible street parking, overpriced lots, and relentless “No Parking” signs, it was impossible to just take a stroll or grab a coffee without a headache. Instead of strolling “The Village” downtown area this morning, I hit the Starbucks drive-thru purely out of principle because I refused to pay $10 to park for something so simple. Eff Gatlinburg and their greed. There—I said it.
Now, for something cute to lighten the mood. Midway through a game of Trouble with Dave and Evelyn, my yellow piece got sent back to start. My face must have been the definition of downtrodden because Evelyn climbed on top of me, wrapped her little arms around me like a barnacle, and said, “I’m going to hug you until that frown is a smile.” How could I not laugh at that? She’s my little leech, and I adore her.
As much as I appreciated the chance to explore this part of Tennessee, I’d die happy never returning. Gatlinburg truly is the tourist trap of all tourist traps. And no matter how much I tried to feel good about where my money went, it never felt right.
But the point wasn’t Gatlinburg. The point was to make memories with Dave and Evelyn; we get an A-plus for that.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 