I have to start somewhere, and this sentence is it.
Am I done yet? I ask myself. The kid-like urge to play, eat ice cream, and paint with a rainbow-colored thick marker all over the walls is at the helm. And you know what? I’ll let her.
Because the editor, the eraser, the authoritarian finger-wagger that’s been dominant in the past? She’s been demoted. Incoming is the silly, overly excitable part of me.
For Evelyn’s sleepover, both girls got two cookies. Then, when one of them couldn’t bite through a hard part, I grabbed a hammer, popped the cookie in a Ziploc bag, and let both girls take a whack at it like a carnival game. Giggles bubbled forth as the cookie shattered into eight more manageable pieces.
I told Dave, and I’ll tell you, too—I feel really optimistic. As I sit back and observe myself tending to ferment in my cooking, maintaining my plants’ health, organizing, and working on house projects, I know this feeling is real. I’m doing things that make my life better and easier.
But the best change? This silly, more lighthearted version of me.
Also, bringing the weight set into the office has been a game-changer. Now, with the weights, wobbleboard, and yoga mat all laid out, I find myself using them daily. I’m the kind of person who, if an environment is practically waving me in, I’ll go.
I am a little bummed about the weird twisted ankle sensation that has me hobbling a bit. No clue how I did it.
Today, I swam four laps in the pool, swung in the hammock while reading, and just soaked up time with Dave and Evelyn. It all felt good—relaxing, playing, just enjoying.
I recently watched Chelsea Handler’s stand-up, and the ending was pretty great. I liked her no-filter approach back on her TV show—she just seemed like someone I’d want to be friends with. After watching her special, I’d still go to Bermuda with her. We’d definitely have some fun.
Uh oh. My self-conscious editor is back. She’s lurking, whispering, “Not interesting enough.” Great. Well, I can’t win.
The biggest question right now is: Do I, or don’t I, eat one of the Klondike bars that are usually never in our freezer—but right now, they are? Oh, how I love those extra-thick chocolate gargantuan squares of ice cream. They’re so freaking amazing.
I think that’s a yes. A hell freaking yes.
And as for my profile picture? It’s what I walked into earlier. I was happily minding my own business, on my way to make Evelyn and Emma smoothies, when I fell in love with the ingenuity of construction of the fork stabbed with Italian sausage buried deep into a rubber straw.
Unfortunately, time is getting in the way of finishing the second half of the Dungeons & Dragons movie and my Klondike bar, so I’ll smell ya later.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 