Some clients come to counseling sessions with bulleted or numbered lists—reminders of what they want to touch on. “If we have time, I’d like to get to…” they’ll say, and off we go.
For this post, I’m doing the same.
Here’s what’s on my mind:
- My scream when I see unexpected creepy crawlers or hoppers
- The difference between our old and new shower
- Gift-giving—specifically, an update on how I’m navigating it
Let’s begin.
1. The Scream
Apparently, I’ve inherited my grandma’s shrill “Oh!”—a sound that escapes my mouth when surprised by bugs, frogs, or other squirmy things. I recognize it instantly. It’s her. And while I’m startled, I’m also entertained by the comedic timing of the sound leaving my mouth and registering in my ear.
It’s happening more often lately. I rarely wear gloves while gardening, so my reactions are in real time—no buffer between me and the thing that moved.
The frogs in Georgia are not the cute little green ones I was used to in Washington. These ones are tubby and toad-like, with a glitchy hop that resembles a possessed woman in a horror movie. Yesterday, I grabbed a handful of matted leaves from under the fringe flower bush, and out came a hopper. Panic. Shriek. Grandma. In that instant, I’m every bee she ever outran, every spider she ever found in her hairnet-sprayed curls.
Part of me wants to stop making that sound, but if I did, the trip down memory lane would vanish too.
2. The Shower
Our new shower? Dang, is it nice.
It has glass doors that nearly reach the ceiling, both an overhead rain shower head and a wall-mounted one—options! And thanks to the tankless water heater, it’s always hot.
Our previous shower? Unbelievably dumb. Where a door should have been was an opening, which meant water always leaked onto the floor. Plus, the lack of a heat register made the entire bathroom feel like a walk-in freezer. I’d stand under scalding water just to thaw out, turning myself a rosy red before I could even think straight.
That girl was on fire! (please sing to the tune of Alicia Keys)
3. Gift-Giving
It’s birthday season again, and I’ve been feeling squirrely about gift-giving. What’s too much? What’s too little? What did they get me last time? Do I need to match that—even if it’s outside our budget?
Because of all the mental gymnastics and a decrease in our spending cushion, Dave and I previously agreed on a $20 cap for Evelyn’s friends, usually spent on a board game or a book. That worked. But now that we’ve moved and are entering a new social circle, I’ve felt the wobble of insecurity and the weight of unknown expectations.
So I reopened the conversation. It turns out Dave feels the same. We landed on $25 across the board, which has quieted the internal panic.
If there’s ever a discrepancy or someone’s offended, I don’t mind having a conversation about it. Gift-giving has never been a big area of importance to me—and honestly, most of the people we’re buying for already have more than enough stuff.
Well, that’s it for our time together. Until next time…
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 