I’m picking up my crystal ball, looking at a past moment, and my body’s showing the score. A quickness in my chest, the image shows me scrambling—talking at rather than to the person. The discomfort, the awkwardness, and knowing the conclusion ends in failure—it’s intentionally fine-tooth-combing this memory for the exact guardrails that will keep me safe next time.
One guardrail: giving myself clear instructions about my role, the task, and holding that coin in my hand during the interaction. I didn’t have that. And although I can be great at winging things or hitting the mark most of the time, this was an interaction that needed sustained confidence.
So, what did I do? I did just that. For phone consultations with prospective clients, I wrote down the three pieces of information I need from each call. Going forward, that notebook will be with me when I pick up the phone.
Funny enough, I got to test it this evening—right as we were heading out the door for trick-or-treating. Thankfully, we had a little wiggle room with time, so I ducked into the office, glanced at my notes, took a deep breath, and dialed the number back.
After the call, I felt secure. Grounded. Peaceful. I also felt thankful to myself for giving myself clear instructions.
And, of course, part of me worried you’d judge me. That you’d think, “She’s taken these phone consultations how many times and is just now figuring this out?” Which, honestly, is probably not what you thought—it’s what I thought.
Still, I’ll answer it. I have had that structure in place and have stayed within those guidelines most of the time. It’s just every so often—the call I take while I’m gardening or in the car—when I’m not collected. That’s the real issue, isn’t it? Not whether I know what to ask, but whether I’ve created the environment and headspace I need to show up fully. That’s the key.
Phew. I knew I needed to flesh that out a bit more. And now, I need to get back to Love Is Blind—my mindless, fall, bunker-down-in-the-bedroom show of choice for the time being.
Happy Halloween!
Love,
Jaclynn
Going On 40 