Should I stop—wait, not should, but when should I stop social media? Yesterday? Back when Myspace came out, twenty years ago. More and more I’m hating the reflexive button push. Repulsed, actually. I’ve spoken of this before, two weeks ago maybe. I deleted Instagram—not that I looked at it anyway—and earlier did the same with Facebook. There’s something intoxicatingly human about control: of my body, my time, my choices. I feel free as a well-crafted paper airplane out soaring expectations.
If you were a fly on the wall, you’d catch my eyes scanning the living room walls. You might mistakenly think I’m searching for writing ideas. But no. I’m playing interior designer and contemplating paint colors to liven up this living room’s white canvas. Don’t tell Dave—I saw a look of despair while checking out after an hour-plus visit to Home Depot earlier. I’ll wait until the New Year, until after his batteries recharge. Then we can tackle these ginormous vaulted ceilings with clear minds and hearts, and with as little resentment as possible.
I’m excited for Evelyn to come home and see all I’ve done in her three-day absence. Before leaving her at her grandparents’, I’d asked if she wanted me to clean her room. Her yes I took immediately to the bank, and there isn’t an item, drawer, or cranny I haven’t had my hands on.
In the not-so-frequently-used board-game shelf in the living room—three platforms, seven feet long and three feet high—I’ve arranged her newest and most-played-with toys along with a couple old favorites that had been collecting dust in her closet. Next to it is her desk with crafts, the spirograph, and the Hooked on Phonics book called This Book Is Broken. For her room, Dave and I bought an 8’ x 10’ purple shag rug (her wood floor isn’t very cozy), and a tall open-air container with plastic rope “walls” to house the stuffed animals overflowing her wicker basket. Bulky, rarely played-with toys are headed to the attic. And she’s also gotten a three-platform rolling cart that I had an especially fun time arranging—mini toys like axolotls, puppies, and a dragon in their own little play world. I hope she likes it, and notices their positions and little scenes. I set it up to spark her own playfulness.
She’ll be home tomorrow, so I’ll get to see her reaction then.
Time to try my hand at making a pumpkin cold brew. I don’t remember where I put that little motorized wand that whips up the foam, so likely I’ll spend the next ten minutes looking for it.
♡ Jaclynn
Going On 40 