I swear the butt cream made me do it. A sentence likely uttered once or twice in humanity’s time on Earth. So, hear me out.
Without a diagnosis for two reddish circular spots on my face—maybe a rash—I saw an internet post of a person with similar markings. They used calamine lotion and zinc oxide (aka baby butt ointment), so I picked up two off-brand bottles at the store to see if I could make mine go away.
Trial night one was last night: a dab of calamine on one, a dab of zinc on the other, and off to sleep.
Night two—tonight—something overcame me. I thought, if this is good for a baby’s butt—painful, reddened skin, soothing and healing—why wouldn’t my face want the same?
Of course, Google says it’s hydrating, will make me look younger, and so on. So now the $3.50 bottle of butt goo is slathered across my face, making me look like a B-budget clown. The kind where, when the red nose sale rolls around, they don’t even bother mailing you the coupons.
I also look like a baseball player. The stripe of calamine, with its pinkish tint, has me feeling like one of the women from A League of Their Own.
You know what? The fact that I’ve typed this much is incredible. Starting at 10 p.m., feeling the day’s go-go-go, finishing my 9 p.m. session knowing I still had to write—I told myself, just write one sentence, and you’re good.
And similar to my “just for fun” run that somehow turned into an easy 2.5 miles, this feels the same. Hallelujah.
Count me as having another Tuesday in the books. After I brush my teeth, I’ll be prepped and ready to slide into Wednesday.
I’ll see you here tomorrow.
Love,
Jaclynn
Going On 40 