Jaclynn Loibl

My Mini Grand Canyon

I can get singularly focused, eyes on the prize, and relationally, it might come off bullheaded. The bullseye rarely is all I see, but with some goals, values, and stars we shoot for, the outer rings of failure are not an option. I abutted a layer of four-inch-thick, sludgy compost against the concrete pool deck.Continue reading “My Mini Grand Canyon”

Getting Into the Spirit

You know that clean, chiseled, aesthetically perfected feeling of a fresh haircut? Or the just-for-you fit of a brand-new piece of clothing—tags still on, not too snug, not too bulky, straight from the fitting room? That’s my refrigerator right now. Its facelift came after my 11 p.m. impulse to pull out every last item, wipeContinue reading “Getting Into the Spirit”

Spidey Senses

I’m debriefing with myself. Sitting in quiet curiosity, wondering what the hell built the bedrock of insecurity and self-doubt I’ve been standing on. For one, I believed I owed people. The people who followed me, who found value and pleasure in what I created—I felt indebted to them. So even when my psyche crumbled likeContinue reading “Spidey Senses”

Saddle Sore and Spellbound

My left butt cheek—the spot right between the upper thigh and that crease—is sore. The sensation is somewhere between a rug burn, an achy muscle, and a sunburn. And I’m not even a little mad about it. That’s because…I got to ride a horse today! I love horses. Growing up, I had a horse namedContinue reading “Saddle Sore and Spellbound”

An Artist’s Way

A cross-country phone call with my fave gal pal Kristen had me recalibrated in under an hour. She’s got the magic touch. With years under her belt in our friendship, she said, “Jaclynn, you know I think you’re brilliant, and wonderful, and an amazing woman”—and then came the but. I knew it was coming. ItContinue reading “An Artist’s Way”

Burrowing Myself Below

I’m all over the place. One minute I’m unhappily listening to the buzz of a tree-ripping machine on the neighboring property; the next I’m scrolling threats on social media and asking myself, when is enough enough? There’s a heavy weight on me—something’s got to give. It feels like waking from open-heart surgery: anesthetized, aware, butContinue reading “Burrowing Myself Below”

The Deepening Lagoon

I’ve been sinking deeper into my life. Like a cozy set of pajamas you stay in a few extra hours on a Saturday, it’s this lounging calm, the burrowing into the days. Dave, Evelyn, and I are finding our groove with the structure of our routines. After two days of whiny “I’m bored” during ourContinue reading “The Deepening Lagoon”

The Spacious Soul

Hi All, I’d like to use my writing time for reflection. To be with myself. To lean back, close my eyes or keep them open, and be with myself. I want to be in the silence. I want to feel the rise and fall of my chest. I just want to be. I want toContinue reading “The Spacious Soul”

Dehumanize No More

As comments piled beneath my TikTok video, I went into overdrive—delete, block, repeat. But with six clients stacked back-to-back, barely minutes between them to ground myself, I had to call it. For my sanity and security, I shut off the comments. Turning them off meant certain death—at least in algorithm-speak. TikTok rewards comments: Ooh, peopleContinue reading “Dehumanize No More”

Look Out Beloooowwww

I have messy, complicated thoughts. The kind I usually keep to myself, or only share with Dave, Kristen, or Alli—my innermost circle. Not because I don’t trust other people, but because these are the ugliest parts of me. They burst forth like an abscess, raw and unfiltered. And as much as I want to shoveContinue reading “Look Out Beloooowwww”