Going On 40…

One Stroke Under Par

I feel subpar. The measurement comes from a shadowy figure that jumps out at me while I’m doing the most ordinary things—gardening, laundry, work…

“Draw Me Duck”

I fit the pieces together like a puzzle—the hidden drawing, the tear falling from its eye, the upside-down “u” frown for a mouth, and…

Stages of a Run

During the ups and downs and in-betweens of my 3.1-mile run today, I found myself fascinated by the mental stages I fall in and…

Waiting For the Call

Potential recruits for professional sports teams are often streamed live as they await the call. You’ve seen the videos—I’ve seen the videos—the whole family…

The Art of Not

I stare a little too hard at the white glow of the neon sign that reads, “Let’s get naked,” as the not-quite-scalding bath water…

A Poem

Not in the mood Cuz I got a ‘tude Don’t mean to be rude But this post I will conclude Love, Jaclynn

Sliding into Home

I swear the butt cream made me do it. A sentence likely uttered once or twice in humanity’s time on Earth. So, hear me…

Free Bees For All

I feel whooped. Purposefully keeping a low-to-moderate schedule means freedom and flexibility are prioritized—until recently, when Evelyn’s baseball practice and Cub Scouts added three…

My Precious Friend

Perimenopause is a buzzword and a hot topic for my age and sex demographic. For all that’s known about it, for the one potentially…

Usually It Is

I’m discombobulated. Toilet paper is strung from the sole of my foot, my shirt’s on backward, and I’ve got black eyeliner streaming down my…

Where the Wisteria Blooms

The hummers are back, the hummers are back! The thought registered seconds after I watched the darting, mini narwhal-nosed flier poke in and out…

From Grit to Glisten

A wet rag in hand, I grip the black front porch rail, wiping away the greenish-yellow, Ghostbusters-slime-colored pollen. Maybe it’s the color—the vibrance of…

Make It To The Sign

Running has become an obsession. I love it. Not every single second, mind you, but the moments just after a strenuous hill or a…

Back to Square One

I find myself pondering the softness of the average Georgian when it comes to weather. It confounds me. I hate to be an “in…

Into the Unknown

My bird feeder and birdhouse game is lacking. The Eastern bluebird male and female pair are no longer okay with a seedy motel—they want…

A Softer Way Forward

Since training diligently for the half-marathon in October, I’ve trudged. I’ve slodged. I’ve begged and pleaded my body forward. Watching videos on running posture—and…

Small Town Saturdays

Evelyn participated in the Pinewood Derby—her first-ever Scouts activity. It’s the longest-running and most iconic Scout event, starting back in 1953. Her third-place finish…

The Rights of Jaclynn

There’s this epic cloud parting—Julie Andrews frolicking through the meadows, “The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Music” swelling in the background—that’s what…

The Cost of Not Knowing

You know that feeling when you can’t quite catch your breath? Not in the deep, satisfying, fill-your-lungs-all-the-way kind of way, but the opposite. Like…

Blowing in the Wind

You know how to skip, right? Just lift one knee and hop on the opposite leg. That lift-hop motion that you alternate—it turns out…

Learning How to Run

I’m reclaiming my space. Well, it’s not completely my space—I do live with other human beings who have their claims on it too—but let’s…

Evenings at Our House

I need two décor items that’ll sit on the left and right sides of the squared-out fireplace hole. Right now, there are two pillow…

Bring Me A Dream

I think everything’s good. Besides a mini fire ant ambush—the sizzling hot bites that lead to pus-filled mounds that ache for days—I’m not a…

Hoppy Day

The unlikeliest of pairs. Love, Jaclynn

The Dock of the Bay

I’m sitting on the floor of the garage. The door to the house is open, and one of the cats is exploring. It’s been…

The Fox in the Den

I feel pressure to be superhuman. Mostly from other people. When sometimes, just putting one foot in front of the other, paying a bill,…

Not About That Line Life

In the mornings, our household ambles. We saunter and shuffle, and get pulled into mini river eddies. We drink coffee for an hour, lay…

Because I Feel Like It

“I stumble into shame…” is what I was going to say — before I was rudely interrupted by an alarm-level thought that I needed…

If You Build It

Inadvertently, I pulled up a stunted azalea from the sandy circle at the center of the driveway. I’d planted it over a year ago,…

Lean Into It

Growing up in the country as a young whippersnapper, I loved summer nights. I’d lie awake and listen to the frogs in the pond…

Runner’s High Membership

I looked down at my Apple Watch, the screen bouncing like I was unbuckled on an off-roading ATV. It took three glances to see…

Rain Check Por Favor

I’m going to reschedule our time together for tomorrow if you don’t mind. Love, Jaclynn

Don’t Stop Believin’

I choose stocks I believe in. Not like the Jesus-or-Santa-Claus belief, but like the “my Seattle Seahawks would win the Super Bowl” belief. Spoiler: they did.Also,…

I Was Runnninnnng

There’s a counseling sentiment at the start of sessions that goes, “I don’t have anything to talk about,” and 99.9% of the time, it’s…

Gorilla Cart Success

“That’s enough to taste it,” is how I measure the heavy cream for my morning coffee. Grinch coffee cup in hand — the one…

What Guilt Really Needs

I have loose rubber chicken arms and legs now — where fat once was, and muscle hasn’t quite grown in to replace it. But…

Running Down a Dream

I took off running — out the fire exit door and across the blackened Great Wolf Lodge parking lot. The flip from 79 degrees…

Calming the Beast

“How do I take care of myself while carrying that much?” On the back patio’s rug, I feel it — a threat. Instability. Like…

The Anti-Social Club

Is it appropriate to roll into the Great Wolf Lodge with my military tank of a wagon — aka the Gorilla cart — this…

The Things We Avoid

I notice things in my clients that I notice in myself. One is outrunning — the quick-paced busyness of our days, counteracting the need…

Is That Okay?

Ohhh vooooiiice — where are you? I waited for it at dawn, and again at midday — this elusive, nebulous idea that the self…

TSA, You Listening?

It’s the witching hour — for my cats. I make a psst — like a tire losing air — when they chomp the plant…

Do Not Go Gently

For three years, give or take, I sat in church basements and event rooms and stood to say, “My name is Jaclynn, and I…

With Arms Wide Open

Writing in a journal-y, memoir-ish style, I toe the line between sharing and not sharing. Do I regret the abortion, or the “fuck Trump”…

Stick a Fork In Me

I need real advice. The thought hits hard as I press 10-lb weights, standing on my too-thin, cat-scratched yoga mat, lifting them fifteen times…

Protecting the Nervous System

I’m very good at hitting the unfollow button on Facebook. It’s a gift. I’ll be scrolling, absent-mindedly consuming, when suddenly I’m mentally arguing on…

Running Into Myself

After reading the line, “What is it like to be you?”—and the idea that it’s a question no one can truly answer because we…

Going For Gold

I wanted to mention, for a second, the divisiveness—the politicized, sometimes hostile way people push their beliefs. It’s easy to spot. It’s as if…

Seahawks Win, Baby!

After placing books back on the shelves, straightening pillows and cushions, and picking up several stray, hardened bunny turds from the carpet, I plop…

Take a Seat

I think I got burned. My lips have a jalapeño-seed-licked burn to them, and my face a thermostat turned up too high feel. I…

Smell Ya Later

Not in a writing mood. It’s not you, it’s me. I want the couch, a bit of TV, and a nice night of sleep.…

Silent Book Club

“I guess we got our social fix for the week,” I tell Dave as we stroll side by side down the ramp of the…

Off to the Races

Monday is an overflow day. Like a little country mouse, I beat the rugs and make the bread—English muffins, to be exact. My lacto-fermenting…

Sparkling Experimental Puzzlings

It’s 9:45 a.m. The coffee’s long gone cold, with about an inch of liquid left in the cup. This is the norm—I never drink…

Ice, Ice Baby

I’m tempted to do a segment called I Don’t Care. Taking the random things that show up in my social media feed—the ones I…

A Victory Lap

I took care of the bushy little upper squirrel lip of mine. I’m a baby. The too-hot wax, microwaved far too long, singed into…

Bippity Boppity Boop

I walk at a sixteen-minute pace, my heavy winter coat plunked by the hood on my head, as though I’m the coat rack. I…

You Lead, I’ll Follow

One problem I need to solve for my book is the hook. A hook is the thing a reader is actually reaching for —…

When Repetition Builds

It’s 1.15 miles to town. I came up with that number last week, and with my Apple Watch on Exercise mode, I confirmed it…

How I Outsmart Resistance

Why in the hickity heck did I create this goal for myself? To write. Every day. When I’m not in the mood. When I…

Sinners Be Sinning

I only watched 15 seconds of the opening monologue in the movie “Sinners”, and I’m invested. I can’t do two things at once -…

Letting the Road Decide (Book Part 38)

Previous Leaving Fargo, I had run out of options. Not the logistical kind—the deeper ones. The tricks I’d relied on were spent: the scanning,…

The Possibilities of Us

I’m sneaking up on writing in my book. I could be writing in it tonight, but my excuse — and maybe a good reason,…

The Darkness and the Light

I need a writing group. A small one. Is a duo — myself and one other — considered a group? Yes. The definition says…

Here Kitty Kitty

I’m in a “do the bare minimum” mood. Except when it comes to refreshing the house — there, I’m kicking dust bunnies’ butts. I…

Unbreaking My Heart

I told Dave I needed him today — another small step of my feet inching toward security in another person, toward trust, toward healing.…

A Day in Pictures

When I Think About You I Trust Myself

Every so often, I seek a teacher — preferably spiritual or philosophical — to swaddle me in the cushiony comfort of the inner psyche.…

How Close is Too Close

Damn, that Market Spice tea from Pike Place in Seattle is good. I’m not a fan of the cost, but semi-sweetened with orange peels…

Whittling Wood

It’s a cold day for a birthday. Being the house person I am, I stayed inside — working, helping Evelyn with her upper- and…

Another Trip ‘Round

Every so often, vulnerability in writing swirls together with a checked-out, ennui kind of feeling. It’s a blizzard. I’m less interested in the why…

Pink Pony Bath Bomb

I am in a bathtub filled with unicorn pee.Or strawberry Skittles vomit.The water is pink. Yesterday’s bath bomb experience—courtesy of a cross-country gift package…

A Stroll For the Soul

I’ve taken it upon myself to be our family’s concierge for our upcoming Disney World vacation. I am no expert. I do, however, have…

Right on Time

Is it possible to be kicking life’s ass while, at the same time, feeling like it’s kicking yours? If so, clip my ticket. I’m…

Operation: Toes, Treadmills, and Self-Control

Par for the course, I don’t know what to write about. That doesn’t stop me—nay, I must slay this beast. But the mental and…

It’s A New Car!

I’m hungry. Semi-tired. And doing an abysmally poor job of convincing Dave that we need a brand-new car. Perhaps I’m actually just procrastinating writing.…

A Moth at the Window

I write to get ahead of my thinking. Thinking tricks me. It reverse-engineers what’s true. It’s the white-van man with oversized lollipops saying, Come…

Noticeably Unnoticeable

I’m in my head, eking through thoughts about what to write. A welcome guest kneels beside me, pointing out page after page of warblers…

To My Loyal Listeners

Damn, I’m inspired. An author like Stephen Graham Jones doesn’t cross my eyes every day, and because he did, I want to write like…

The Sweet Potato Pendulum

It’s late. Close to bedtime. And my stomach is growling. One might think inserting food is the answer, but it’s not. Instead, I’m scrolling…

New Hunger Awakening

For hours now, I’ve had most of a rotisserie chicken lightly boiling over the gas stove. I’ve added two saucepans full of water during…

When Things Fall Into Place

Inspiration floods in like an atmospheric river in the Pacific Northwest. Never heard of an atmospheric river? Me either. But once you hear the…

A Mouth Watering Post

I’ve moved the yoga mat, the balance ball, and push-up grips into the bedroom. Oh—and a 6’ tall, 4’ wide mirror. I’d described the…

Onward Forward

We’re onto 2026. I’m ready! Buckle up. Love Jaclynn

Better Late Than Never

It’s 3am on the day before the new year. The cross country flight home went well, and now I need sleep. See you tomorrow!

“Feminist,” As An Accusation

“You’re a feminist.” The text from my cousin landed with a thud—damning, like a shameful Scarlet Letter pinned to my chest. I knew she…

A Quiet Tyranny: Meditating on Dostoevsky’s Work

It’s nearing the year’s end, and my mind is a blizzard of ideas and hopes for the new year. I flirted with the idea…

Inhabiting Ourselves: Kierkegaard’s Philosophy

As I’ve done for the past four days, I googled Søren Kierkegaard’s philosophy. He writes: “Of all ridiculous things, the most ridiculous seems to…

Sticking with Kierkegaard

Philosophical questions—and sitting with their meaning—are a priority for me as I look toward 2026. Regardless of a philosopher’s religious or ethical beliefs differing…

A Walk in the Woods

I pick up my phone. It’s already set to take a photo. I half-watch the scene I want to capture come into view and…

Noodling on the New Year

Around the corner is 2026, and with it the familiar knock of resolutions—polite at first, then increasingly insistent. They ask what you will fix,…

Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken

At times, I don’t recognize myself. Not physically—the face staring back in the mirror is mine—but emotionally. I feel like a bullheaded donkey, pulling…

Meeting Your Eye

You don’t know what you want from me. Writing authentically means I don’t care about you. But I care about you. Isn’t that a…