Is it appropriate to roll into the Great Wolf Lodge with my military tank of a wagon — aka the Gorilla cart — this Sunday? The thought hit me with a flutter of excitement in my solar plexus. Not just for the mindset I’m bringing (say yes to Evelyn for every slide, wave pool, andContinue reading “The Anti-Social Club”
Category Archives: Writings
The Things We Avoid
I notice things in my clients that I notice in myself. One is outrunning — the quick-paced busyness of our days, counteracting the need to slow down, to be present, to listen to what we’re really trying to say. What may need to be said is an apology. Or sitting with our fragility. Feeling theContinue reading “The Things We Avoid”
Is That Okay?
Ohhh vooooiiice — where are you? I waited for it at dawn, and again at midday — this elusive, nebulous idea that the self will declare itself, seat itself on the throne of our lives. I want to find my voice. I don’t have a voice. I feel voiceless, the muted ones say.I need toContinue reading “Is That Okay?”
TSA, You Listening?
It’s the witching hour — for my cats. I make a psst — like a tire losing air — when they chomp the plant or swipe at the dream catcher’s feathers. I release the sound sharply and they drop what they’re doing, ears perked, staring. A stare that says, We’re not doing anything. Because I’mContinue reading “TSA, You Listening?”
The Witch’s Work of Becoming
The sandhill cranes are back — high-in-the-sky dinosaurs, extra-large and extra loud — circling in drunken loops before landing in the pasture. It’s early, but they, and a stunted grape hyacinth pushing up in the driveway circle, press a kind of juice through me — like plums smashed into wine. They offer the hope ofContinue reading “The Witch’s Work of Becoming”
Do Not Go Gently
For three years, give or take, I sat in church basements and event rooms and stood to say, “My name is Jaclynn, and I am an alcoholic.” Sometimes it came out like a mouse’s squeak. Sometimes it boomed like I owned the loudspeaker. Shame, pride, and every belief I held about myself met me there.Continue reading “Do Not Go Gently”
With Arms Wide Open
Writing in a journal-y, memoir-ish style, I toe the line between sharing and not sharing. Do I regret the abortion, or the “fuck Trump” post? Nah. But when I have to poop—should that make the cut? Probably not. That might cost me my reader’s appetite. The details of my best friend’s job at Western StateContinue reading “With Arms Wide Open”
Stick a Fork In Me
I need real advice. The thought hits hard as I press 10-lb weights, standing on my too-thin, cat-scratched yoga mat, lifting them fifteen times overhead. I’m up at 6 a.m.—finally early—to hone my voice. I shifted bedtime to 10 p.m. for this hope. And here it is: a clear, booming M-80 of a thought. ButContinue reading “Stick a Fork In Me”
The Cost of Watching Her Grow
The pain of teaching Evelyn letter writing is over. The days of prompting, asking her to sit up straight, of her scribbling letters too quickly—sloppy, performative, fishing for attention or comic relief—are gone. The hack, which has worked the past two mornings, is in effect. In a wide-ruled notebook, I told her to write. FirstContinue reading “The Cost of Watching Her Grow”
Protecting the Nervous System
I’m very good at hitting the unfollow button on Facebook. It’s a gift. I’ll be scrolling, absent-mindedly consuming, when suddenly I’m mentally arguing on behalf of the person they didn’t consider in their hostile—usually politically motivated, often passive-aggressive—post. That’s my cue. About face. Reverse scroll. Time out. My body gets keyed up fast—like ripples underContinue reading “Protecting the Nervous System”