It’s Dave’s second day being a stay-at-home Dad. Those of you who don’t know, Dave is my husband. He’s excellent at anything he puts his mind to, and there’s not a doubt in my mind he’s going to rock it. But this change is a big one, and it’s new and fresh, so I think it’s ok we’re a little out of our element around here today.
That said, I had a tough session today. Maybe one of the toughest I’ve ever had. I felt shut out during it, not listened to, and minimized. As I replay the sequence of events in my memory, my head spins in circles to make sense of what happened.
Since I’m not about labeling or diagnosing, my main priority is how the person and I related during that hour. My mental checklists consist of analyzing a few things: How is the relationship between us? Is there mutual respect? Did I listen to their concerns? Is there a bias or blindspot of mine at play here? And if I do have a bias or blindspot, how will I resolve it?
Referring back to my last blog post, I told you I’d help you evolve your beliefs. I’ll start here; what helps is getting comfortable and possibly enjoying when you’re wrong.
Being wrong means you’re a step closer to being right. Being wrong means you revise the way you do things. Being wrong means you learn new tools.
My goal is to help people. But my idea of what this looks like has changed over the years. From seeing myself as a White Knight who rescues the fairy princess out of captivity to how I see it now, as an unknown–something, I go about solving like a scientist–trying out hypotheses and evolving them as I go.
Serendipitously while leafing through the junk mail, I saw a continuing education pamphlet for certification in Anger Management. With the earlier session in mind, I enrolled, hoping to equip myself with skills that may help me navigate similar situations in the future.
All this to say, being open to being wrong was helpful today. I have a path forward. And I’m going to take it.