I have this semi-removed from reality kind of experience I’m trying to understand. It’s an internal retreat where I remove myself from you and the external world, and it seems to happen whenever I need protection.
But, from what I’m observing, it’s gone a little haywire. Like how conspiracy theorists only see conspiracy theories.
“We all have defense mechanisms.” Dave expressed to me last night, seemingly aware of how isolated the experience makes me feel. Hearing those words calmed me and made me realize the most challenging part is not my judgment towards myself; instead, it’s how alone I feel.
Emotions bubbled up and released in the form of tears during the conversation as I realized the toll the experience had taken on me.
And, I’ve changed my mind; I want to get a haircut with my sister-in-law in Port St. Joe, a city about 45 minutes away. I replaced thoughts of the irresponsibility of a $40 price tag with the value I’d get spending time with someone I care about and the vibbity vibes that come with getting a new cut.
Also, that this house has an outdoor shower and toilet makes all things better.
Dinner is almost ready, so my meandering, random thoughts on this second day in Cape San Blas must end.
Thanks for dropping in. Love, Me
Going On 40 