I looked at my notes before a session, “Be aware of your expectations; they lead to disappointment.” Then, I questioned the validity of my findings; and realized my feeling disappointed in an individual’s response was okay.
But, could sharing my feelings with the individual benefit them?
So often, I desire to wear a masked, there’s nothing to see here, Cheshire cat grin at the lumps being swept under the rug. And yet I’m also aware of how addressing these vulnerable and sensitive subjects creates security and accountability in a relationship.
The question of how to share my disappointment remains. And as I often ask clients to do in a session, I will now practice.
“You know, *insert name*, it can be helpful if I share my observations of you. Do you think this could be valuable?” If they say yes, I’d continue.
“I notice myself at times feeling disappointed in your response. I know it’s not that I’m disappointed in you, as I very much appreciate your willingness to show up here and push outside your comfort zone. But I wonder if what I’m picking up on is a feeling you’re letting yourself down. Is there any truth to this?”
I could say that.
Evelyn’s first day of school was today. She spent three hours in a new environment, with new kids and a new teacher, and she loved it!
Mama Bear is so happy and relieved for her. She (and I) can’t wait for her to return tomorrow.
Thanks for listening. Love, Jaclynn