I have a reoccurring experience where after a fun event or social engagement ends, I get depressed. My thoughts center around time, its significance, and how quickly it goes. Even writing that blew a chilled heaviness into my mind and chest.
I’m stuck in a corn maze. While waiting for my family to catch up, I’m listening to the rustle of the dry paper-like stalks.
I don’t know what to do about it or even if I can. I feel pretty helpless and hopeless, both feels of which I’m not fond.
Besides a corn maze, there is a 500-square-foot area filled with kernels of corn at the Fall Festival we’re attending. I jumped in it, played with Evelyn, took the photo for this post, and stumbled upon a pleasant surprise during my 6 pm virtual session.
An itch to my shin shocked me and confirmed a large bundle of kernels, about 30 in total, had hitchhiked inside my skinny jeans.
I’m watching the Broncos play the Chargers, and I care zero about the game’s outcome. I do care whether Russel Wilson completes a pass, runs, or Austin Ekeler runs or catches the ball. That’s because I’m in a Fantasy Football league and also competitive. Money is on the line!
Back to what I said earlier, I think I will try positive self-talk during endings and transitions. Maybe something like this, “Jaclynn, I know how important this time is to you, and I know you’re scared that life is moving too quickly. But just take a deep breath. It may not seem like it right now, but everything will be ok.”
I sort of wrote that last part to myself as a consolation talk for losing on the final play just now. Dang it!
Alright, I need to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Talk to you tomorrow.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 