Couples Counseling: Part Duel

After a significant break in our communication journey, our couple from part one is now ready to embark on part two.

“Do we want to pick up where we left off last time?” I inquire, curious about any updates. However, met with silence, one promotes me, “Where was that?”

I gently remind them, “You felt betrayed when your partner wasn’t there for you after that significant event, the one where you really needed their support.”

With that, the floodgates open, and both partners present exhibits of evidence to illustrate their feelings of neglect. It’s as if I’m the judge presiding over the case, and they solemnly pass around plastic zip-locked exhibits A through M in our metaphorical courtroom.

In their defense, they begin a bit shaky, but within the counseling room’s safe and open space, they quickly find their footing. Their interactions go something like a series of jabs, each revelation shedding light on their true underlying feelings.

As the session draws to a close, I reflect back to them, “It’s almost like there’s a constant back-and-forth between being the prosecutor and the defender in your relationship.” Both partners nod in agreement, and I pose the crucial question, “Is that dynamic working for you?” They both shake their heads in acknowledgment.

Ultimately, the final verdict becomes clear: an ongoing sense of mutual helplessness has led to a deprioritization of each other in their relationship.

Stay tune for part three. Take care.

Love, Jaclynn