Burdens, Bickers, and Bedtime Battles

Other people’s burdens found me today. Like plops of piles of garbage on my front porch, one after the other, they cluttered the sight of my scarecrow, pumpkin, and corn stalk fall decorations.

And what did I do?

First, I assessed what was mine to bear. What ownership or responsibility did I need or want to take? Most times, it was nothing – not my monkey, not my circus.

With one individual, their frustration towards me felt less justified than the frustration they should have directed at themselves. It’s their business, and their cancellation policies are still a work in progress. I remember those days, impatiently tapping my fingers on the desk, waiting for a tardy client to arrive, and feeling frustrated that my time was wasted. Those growing pains were necessary because guess what? Today, I have a clear-cut 15-minute late policy, and from day one, I have communicated how crucial punctuality is to me.

Another unfortunate incident unfolded when two clients had a heated argument with their car doors open outside my office building, amidst a community of professionals and their patients. Not wanting to add fuel to the fire, I initially retreated indoors. However, as their voices continued to echo through the building, I stepped outside and approached their car, firmly saying, “I can’t allow you to do this here.” After some initial resistance, I reiterated, “I just can’t. You can’t engage in this behavior here.”

Sometimes, I wonder if part of our job, as citizens, is to teach people how to coexist in society. Or perhaps it’s not society at large, but how to be with us.

Shifting gears, handling nighttime routines with an almost 4-year-old can be a heartstring-tugging challenge in lots of ways. The dramatics leave my body tense – the crying, the back and forth, the “I don’t want to be alone,” and the endless list of needs. I can’t keep doing it like this.

So, we won’t. I had a conversation with Dave, and we’re on the same page. Tomorrow, before bedtime, we’re having a sit-down on the couch to discuss bedtime expectations. Just as Dave stopped lingering at preschool drop-offs, which went well, we’re no longer going to linger at bedtime. It’ll be a book, toothbrush, and bed. This way, we can all transition into the next phase of our evening with peace and successfully cap off the day.

I cherish Dave and our ability to find equilibrium together.

Well, that’s all for tonight. I’ll see you here tomorrow. Thanks for stopping by.

Love, Jaclynn