I forwent playing Nintendo Switch to write.
I went four ways to write. To write, four ways I did go.
The mop that you plunk into the top basket and pump with your foot to spin the water out of the cloth? I went plum crazy on the vinyl siding at the front of our house. Dave used a broom to relocate two large spider webs to a tree about forty feet away.
I then steam-cleaned three muddy spots on the front porch rug. I think I did them a little too well because now those spots are lighter than the rest.
As I cleaned, I listened to a continuing education course I’d registered for: The Gottman Method to Treating Affairs and Trauma: An Advanced Online Training Course.
I’ve seen John and Julie Gottman speak before, and one of their books, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” was required reading in grad school. The first forty-five minutes of the course, though, I wish I could erase from my memory. As John Gottman explained the history of our understanding of trauma, he made sure to point out all the ways other researchers had gotten it wrong—while also reminding us, “We’re very good friends.”
It came across as pompous and unnecessarily dramatic. If you have such a strong body of work, why spend so much time discrediting others?
Julie’s portion is where I really tuned in.
Nothing teaches quite like experience. To hear that one of her defining professional memories centered on a major relational regret—and the changes she made afterward in how she cared for the people she worked with—had my full attention. But she also went deeper, sharing how her understanding of trauma evolved and how that shaped the way she views affairs.
I’m excited to keep learning. I’ve been wanting to expand the way I think about healing and moving forward, both in my own life and in my clients’ lives.
Well, that dang USA and Belgium World Cup soccer game is back on. I’m loving all this soccer; it’s so dang exciting.
Love, Jaclynn