Author Archives: Jaclynn Loibl

Last night, I got stuck because my thoughts have trap doors. And I’m fairly certain I’m not the only one who barely escapes their heavily wrapped tendrils and fortified Velcro adhesion. Somewhere, somehow, when the guards let down their guard—just momentarily—I slipped a note through the bars. A question for my future self, a twingeContinue reading “Prisoner of the Past”

Should I stop—wait, not should, but when should I stop social media? Yesterday? Back when Myspace came out, twenty years ago. More and more I’m hating the reflexive button push. Repulsed, actually. I’ve spoken of this before, two weeks ago maybe. I deleted Instagram—not that I looked at it anyway—and earlier did the same withContinue reading “Social Media Shakeup”

We have a love like that—the kind from movies,from the ages. It’s me at my lowestand you’re there. It’s two people fighting for a future the other doesn’t see. I’m addicted to it— to you,to what you feel. Your heart sends smoke signalsto mine, and the regrets settle on us like soot. And in theContinue reading “The Truest Love: A Poem”

Deciding what to focus on is half the battle. Social events Stretch-Armstrong me. I should be at the dining table with everyone. I should be in the playroom with Evelyn. I should be halfway across the country with my parents. Yet settling into myself—deeply, unapologetically, kindly—feels like falling in love with myself. So did takingContinue reading “Loving What It Is”

I’m 43. That number seems big, small, and just right. I’m in pajama bottoms at 4 p.m. on a Wednesday. That has a ring to it. It’s liberating working from home—not only because of my YOLO attire but because I’ve had a five-high-five chunk of time not working. Living in the future is what IContinue reading “Dear Journal,”

You’ve walked in on me mid-conversation with myself. If you don’t mind, take a seat—I’ll be right with you. Why is it that earlier, when I spoke from experience—with passion and strength—shame slipped in like an unwanted wasp through the crack of a door? What do I need to feel secure after a conversation ends?Continue reading “Gonna Make You Sweat”

Efficiency is the operating premise for the virus in the show Pluribus we’re watching on Apple TV. It’s fascinating to see how their all-in-one society works so seamlessly toward a common goal—but always at the cost of nuance, quality, and innovation. Everything becomes black-and-white. And it makes me think about our own culture’s relationship withContinue reading “A Comfort-Obsessed Society”

All the different parts of me—Perfectionist, Competitive, Obsessive, Paranoid—show up like regulars bursting through the glass doors, late for the 7:00 AA meeting. They come in loud, familiar: the guy with the sideways cap and the frayed blue cloth belt; the two long-banged emo girls in oversized hoodies; someone fist-bumping two others before grabbing aContinue reading “Regulars at Inner AA”

Seated in Woodland Coffee Roasters and Café, the chill of the air conditioning has Evelyn huddled against her dad while they stand in line to order. Other T-shirt-wearing patrons hold their arms tightly across their chests. I’m seated at a table, saving it, even though my territorial choice may have been for nothing—two other tablesContinue reading “Reading the Room”

Frank Sinatra, Journey, and CCR’s Cosmo’s Factory vinyl records took a spin mid-morning today. I must have the earth on the brain. With Evelyn using the words country, continent, and city interchangeably, I took on the Herculean task of creating a beginner geography curriculum. Because the amount of information is overwhelming, breaking it apart intoContinue reading “Simply Spinning Globes”