An Opening

Are there things that act like a weighted straightjacket in your mind – things that get put off – and remind you of your stuckness and failures?

I do, and one of them is writing in my book.

I stopped writing in it about a month ago, and since that time, thinking about doing so has filled me with dread. (A far cry from the feeling I used to have!)

I want to change this. Maybe I could try opening the document and read where I left off.

One second.

Ok, so, not only did I do it, but I decided to erase the parts I no longer connected with – amounting to a couple pages.

“Writing in your book now?” Dave breaks attention from the NHL All-Star Game.

Immersed in telling the story of the first time I nestled Evelyn’s tiny little body into mine and took her outside.

“This is the world.” I’d told her.

My hormones, the newness of being a mother, and the wordless beauty of that crisp, fall morning filled my eyes, tears streaking my face.

“Uh, yeah,” I tell him, brought back to the blazing fire in the wood stove that warms me like a hot shower. Evelyn is uttering little-sized words that she alone understands and crawls in and out of a cardboard box covered with a blanket.

That I’ve unlocked this locked door in myself feels good. I don’t yet trust it, but that’s ok.

I hope you’re enjoying the day. I sure am.

Lots of love,
Jaclynn