All Systems No

Do you have a go-to system for doing things? A formula you can rely on when shit hits the fan? I do, but for the longest time, I didn’t and relied on the universe’s good vibbity-vibes to see me through.

An older hippie friend of mine, Peter, drove his converted school bus from Los Angeles to Humboldt county while I co-piloted. One evening I set a dirty knife into the sink without thinking. “No, my dear,” Peter’s voice caught me with my hand in the cookie jar, “Wash it and put it away. I have a sys-tem.” His thick German accent stretching system out like taffy,

I HATE being told what to do, and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to flip the bus’s bolted-to-the-floor table over. But since I love Peter, I listened to the methods of his madness, and funny enough – they made sense.

I’m rewinding and playing conversations I had with clients at work today. Did I say the right thing? Did I screw something up? How can I do better? The morse-code-like messages are sending me off into space.

I need to stop.

I’m contemplating a decision that feels weighty. My therapist taught me a trick, which I might try here. She’d face me in one direction, and have me keep the word “yes” in mind. After a few seconds, she’d have me face the opposite direction and have me keep the word “no” in mind.

Anyway, I am heading for a couple of chocolate strawberries and excited to return to “The Invisible Life of Addie Larue.” I love the author’s writing style and find myself slurping in her sentences like Lady and the Tramp and spaghetti. Yu-um!

No need to make the decision tonight, Jaclynn. Stop thinking, and especially stop worrying. Ok, I’ll try.

Nighty night. Love, Me

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