Brown spots on your lawn? Want to enrich your grass? Not to worry! That’s nothing a little Listerine, Pepsi, and Budweiser can’t solve for you!
Looking up a DIY lawn fertilizer, I was surprised to find the recipe called for 1 can of not-diet soda, 1 can beer, 1/2 cup dish soap, 1/2 cup ammonia, 1/2 cup of mouthwash, and 10 gallons of water.
Although jumping and slamming all my body’s weight on the edger worked, it took about an hour to get it right. And pay no attention to the bend in the line at the lawn; I’m no professional in landscape artistry.
Looking around at the yard of tools of edger, mower, rake, weed whacker (whipper snipper in Australia), and wheelbarrow that were strewn about, I knew I’d done something. Then later, while showering, and scrubbing the dirt off my nails, I thought, “Tending to an acre is a marathon, you can go slow.”
In my downtime, my thoughts were pathetic, drifting to make-believe, where I wished that an email or text would pluck me out of myself and make me happy. I felt dull, like a rusted, unsharpened tool on a dusty corner shelf, never thrown out or used.
I’m out of it because I’ve been badgering and doubting myself non-stop this week. I realize now how repeatedly returning to memories where I was less than perfect and telling myself what an idiot I am has taken a significant toll.
So starting right now, I will be nice to myself. Like, go out of my way, thoughtful. And I’ll start by reading with a little Enya in the background. Enya. I hadn’t thought of her music in a while ago. In a distracting moment to see if she’s put anything new out, I saw a headline about a little 4-year-old girl named Enya with leukemia—the poor thing.
I have my prescription; nice, nice and more nice.