As I wait for the bagel dough to rise, I should use this time efficiently—especially since inspiration is knocking at the door. Let’s get into it.
Relationships can thrive or survive. Clients come telling tales of the ones they’re in that are barely breathing, often confused by the whys and hows of what got them there.
My role is to take the too-knotted ball of string from their hands and untwine it. “And this one, what is it?” I’ll ask, as I methodically pull at the small curvature and loosen its grip on itself.
Something, I say, isn’t working. And they’ll show me the knots, and how they got there. Often, it’s that they stopped paying attention to and tending their most precious gift. Not maliciously. Gradually. Life filled the spaces where intention used to live. Other times, it’s repeating patterns they’d been modeled—isolating, defending—because nowhere had they learned differently.
I breathe in the knowing that, despite the cavernous canyon separating them, the couple really cares for one another. They diligently show up for their commitment like soldiers at a post, on the ready.
I’m no statistician, but rarely is the drift malicious—not for the ones showing up in my office, er, virtual living room anyway.
As time, life, and the beats of our hearts continue, the dust collects. The knots slip in. And all at once, lovers are replaced by strangers right from under our noses.
Relationships are the biggest conundrum my clients face. Not because people don’t care, but because they do. Deeply. Enough to get hurt. Enough to defend. Enough to lose sight of one another while trying to survive life itself.
And yet, I sit week after week watching people try again. Reach again. Explain again. Love again.
Maybe that’s the real miracle of relationships—not that knots happen, but that humans keep handing each other the string.
Love, Jaclynn
PS Those dang bagels. They never did get the oomph necessary to rise into their full-bodied selves. Still, their taste is soft and sublime, and Dave assured me that, aside from their frisbee appearance, they’ll be perfect for breakfast and lunch sandwiches.
