Previous Exhausted, frustrated, and pretty damn angry that nothing—not one thing—has felt satisfying, I pull off the highway into Fargo. I take a back road into town and park outside a nondescript bar glowing with tired neon. Inside, I slide onto a high-backed wooden chair at the bar. No one else is here. After aboutContinue reading “A Strange Reflection (Book Part 34)”
Tag Archives: Memoir
This Is Who I Am (Book Part 33)
Prior I follow behind Kent in my car, careful to keep my distance as we wind through the hills of this majestic terrain. The layered reds, browns, and creams remind me of the inside of a fancy cake. I reach for my camera to capture the view, but the motion blurs everything. Eventually, a gravelContinue reading “This Is Who I Am (Book Part 33)”
After He Said That (Book Part 32)
Previous I didn’t realize how much I’d dropped the mask until it slipped completely. That’s the thing about pretending—you don’t always know you’re doing it until you stop. And at this moment, with Kent, I wasn’t pretending. Not even a little. The dome light is on, allowing details of Kent’s face—ones I hadn’t noticed before—toContinue reading “After He Said That (Book Part 32)”
Where Beasts Roam (Book Part 30)
Previous Side by side, our feet resting on the headlights, Kent and I talk. He teaches elementary school in Manitoba, and with the remaining weeks of his summer break, he’s hiking, adventuring, and exploring national parks. Dehydrated from too much solitude, I drink in communion and belonging, savoring the feeling that someone else gets it.Continue reading “Where Beasts Roam (Book Part 30)”
A Lingering Flame (Book Part 29)
Previous Dan came with me on this trip. Not physically, but psychologically. I was attached—obsessed. When the void within me yawned wider than I could bear, I called him. Just to hear his voice. To fan the flame that had long since been ignited. I dated Dan for less than a year during my sophomoreContinue reading “A Lingering Flame (Book Part 29)”
The Not-So-Bad Badlands (Book Part 27)
Previous I left Wall Drug unimpressed. I’d given myself a few dollars to spend if something caught my eye, but I couldn’t justify shelling out $8 for an ice cream cone. Later, I learned about the town’s history: the wife of the man who bought Wall’s only drugstore had a late-night epiphany, listening to theContinue reading “The Not-So-Bad Badlands (Book Part 27)”
Wandering Wall (Book Part 26)
Previous Why isn’t she in Hollywood? I wonder. Her pixie-like frame, the soft slope of her nose, and her white-blond hair that moves as though it’s one with the wind all suggest someone larger than life. This far above civilization, she seems like an actress seeking solace at the mountain’s highest point. A small photographContinue reading “Wandering Wall (Book Part 26)”
A Broken Promise (Book Part 23)
Previous A too-warm tent and Harley’s revving wake me. I’m groggy but rested and pull out my phone. 7:00 AM. All at once, the night whooshes in—the texts I didn’t reply to, and Jason. I halfway expect a motionless camp, but as I unzip a small section, I see and wave to two of theContinue reading “A Broken Promise (Book Part 23)”
Liquid Courage (Book Part 22)
Previous I have a leftover baggie of cocaine in the cup holder in my car. The image is a spotlight that illuminates the darkness in my mind. Gone is the pressure of not knowing what to do. To Jason, I simply say, “You ready to go? I am.” He chugs the rest of the drinkContinue reading “Liquid Courage (Book Part 22)”
The Knuckle Saloon (Book Part 21)
Previous Jason and I visit a t-shirt vendor outside the Easy Rider. We browse up and down rows of neatly folded t-shirts in the open air. Here or there, I pause to touch a piece of fabric or pick one up to get a closer look, but the price tag is outside of my budget,Continue reading “The Knuckle Saloon (Book Part 21)”
Going On 40 