Birthday Eve

Hi, I’m Jaclynn and tomorrow is my birthday. At that time, this blog’s title will no longer be relevant because, as you may have already guessed, I’ll be 40.

I recall over the hill parties for people turning 40 when I was younger; black balloons, images of a donkey with their knees buckled underneath them, flopped on top of dirt mound coupled with the words “Over The Hill .” Um, is having one of those still a thing?!

A friend of mine from high school who recently turned 40 had a shift in his mindset. Will I?

In two and a half hours, the number associated with me will tick up from 39 to roll over into an entirely new decade.

I’m not concerned or scared that anything significant will happen out of the norm. But who knows? I can’t predict the future, but will do my best to embrace the day and be with what comes.

I sent a video message via Marco Polo to a friend. In it, I reflected on the proximity to the age my Mom died, 44. Too young is what everyone said at the time, and I agree it is too young, especially as I inch closer and closer to it.

I have so many plans, and I know she did too. For her 25th wedding anniversary in June (she died in February), she bought Hawaii tickets. I could never make sense of that, of those plans that would never be.

I don’t know. I guess there’s a bit of heaviness in me tonight, and I’m scared. Nothing insurmountable, though… just noticing it.

But I’m also excited about what’s to come in my life. The puzzle pieces are coming together so nicely that I’m in awe at sometimes at how great the picture is turning out.

Well, I better go. However much I’d love to stay here all night and count down the minutes like it was New Year’s, I’m practical and too much in love with my bed and sleep.

Good night, and I’ll see you on the other side of the hill.

Love always,

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