Flexing Down Below

At the start of writing, the value of a piece is unknown and undefined. It’s as if a door knob turns and a crack appears but with nothing in the house visible, there’s no telling what it will be like when you enter. 

If you ever need a pick-me-up, search for used mirrors or wedding rings on Craigslist, Offerup, or Facebook marketplace. That sentence was my “Welcome” or the entryway to my post, something light while you take your shoes off.

Oh, you didn’t know about mirrors? Well, people suck at taking photos of mirrors; it’s like a random person in the background moment where they’re tiptoeing, face grimacing and side-eyeing the camera, trying to escape being captured, but of course, they do, right in the shot with a bride and groom.

Come on into the kitchen; here’s a bowl of cashews, freshly washed grapes, slices of cheese, and crackers if you’d like. 

Wedding rings remind the seller of an ending they likely didn’t want. The “item details” are just that – detailed – and, in fewer than 100 words, convey the likes of a first mini-therapy session. You might think they’d be sad, but really, they’re pretty funny.

We can chat about work, travel, or the holidays if you like, or we can sit on the couch and relax. Here’s our latest addition to the living room, a ukulele you can play. 

A 70-year-old neighbor, Judy, and I sat chatting once, and the topic of pelvic muscles came up. I had a lot to say on the subject as I had recently given birth. “I do those Kegels all the time,” she told me. The image of her flexing her nether region felt revealing, as if she’d taken her shirt off. “In fact,” she continued, not missing a beat, “I’ve been doing them the whole time we’ve been talking.” Rest her soul, she was funny.

I wish we had more time together, but there are a few things I need to get to. We should do this again sometime. You know where to find me. 

Love, Jaclynn