The night air is 71 degrees, the cicadas low and steady, and I’m full of chips and salsa—again. But underneath all that comfort is this feeling I know too well: insecurity. It lives deep down, where the dark anglerfish roam. A matchstick light leading the way, illuminating the mushiest, muddiest silt. That spongy chill whereContinue reading “There Will Be Mud”
Author Archives: Jaclynn Loibl
A Backyard Boil Blunder
Dave considered declining, then turned to me and asked, “Want to go to a crawfish boil?”The invite came from two doors down. A friend of theirs—who owns a 500-acre property just eight minutes away—was throwing a party. Maybe it was their way of reciprocating after politely declining our offer for their daughter to come swim.Continue reading “A Backyard Boil Blunder”
Startle Me and Soothe Me
Some clients come to counseling sessions with bulleted or numbered lists—reminders of what they want to touch on. “If we have time, I’d like to get to…” they’ll say, and off we go. For this post, I’m doing the same.Here’s what’s on my mind: Let’s begin. 1. The Scream Apparently, I’ve inherited my grandma’s shrillContinue reading “Startle Me and Soothe Me”
Waiting For the Quiet
There’s a wall of mind gunk I have to wade through before I find a quiet spot to write. It’s the thought banter of the day—guys bullshitting over beers after work, idle chatter at a hair salon. It’s taxes, Katy Perry on the moon, and other crap I don’t care about, poking their heads intoContinue reading “Waiting For the Quiet”
The Wisdom in the Sway
I dreamt of seeing a Luna Moth. That creamy, lime-green goddess I’d only glimpsed in pictures felt more like a celestial body or a four-leaf clover—something you admire from afar but never expect to meet. With its nocturnal habits and adult lifespan of only 7–10 days, I never imagined catching a glimpse of one inContinue reading “The Wisdom in the Sway”
Choosing Who We Let In
Today was bittersweet. My decade-plus-long friendship with Peter led to, for the first time, talking to his long-time partner and wife, Susanna. She told me about the final moments—how he chose his date and time to take the death-with-dignity medication. The intimacy of it: their prayers for one another, her heaving a painful sigh atContinue reading “Choosing Who We Let In”
A Faire to Remember
“Am I Jesus?” Evelyn asked, her cantaloupe-sized melon poking out from a wooden cutout. It was the third hole she’d posed in —the first being a busty Viking woman, followed by a classic head-and-hand stockade.“No, you’re the Mona Lisa,” I told her, mildly surprised at her somewhat close guess despite our lack of religious leanings.Continue reading “A Faire to Remember”
You’ve Got Time
As I lugged an Evelyn in my yard work Gorilla cart, the flat country road won out over the fire ant-infested bumpy field. I felt a little country—with shoeless Evelyn seated atop an empty compost container in front of twenty jostling fresh-picked chicken eggs—but that’s how we roll. I also thought of an earlier momentContinue reading “You’ve Got Time”
Patchwork Progress
How seamlessly the YouTubing ladies hung wallpaper. With doodads and thingamajigs, they smoothed and sliced, then stood back and said, “You can too!” And I believed them. Right up until the glue-backed paper didn’t stick. Or the middle section bulged. No amount of finesse with the box cutter could stop me from tearing the paperContinue reading “Patchwork Progress”
The Power Be Trippin’
Browsing Reddit’s top news stories this week is dizzying. The insider trading, corruption, and lack of accountability make me feel as queasy as I did last night after eating too much strawberry shortcake. So I’ll switch my thinking to something of a palate cleanser—like the literal tug-of-war match we played today. A group of usContinue reading “The Power Be Trippin’”
Going On 40 