fear – Going On 40

The Sound of Silence

Another day draws to a close—a busy one that sighs itself away—as I pop a squat on the window seat in my bedroom. The sun hovers just above the tree line, readying for its descent, about to drape our home in shadows. There’s a quiet reprieve in spying my shepherd’s hook in the field, hungContinue reading “The Sound of Silence”

The Longest Night (Book Part 15)

Previous Chapter 3 Therapist: Do you ever think of suicide?Me: That’s a weird question, considering I’ve never mentioned it. No, I’m too scared to do something like that.Therapist: In a way, how you’re using drugs and drinking to anesthetize yourself – not to mention the risky sex – could be looked at as a slowContinue reading “The Longest Night (Book Part 15)”

Belly Of The Beast

Dave’s got a light strapped to his head, a cigar in hand, and a baby monitor and lighter in his pocket. Obviously, he’s up to no good. And that I’m bundled up and about to follow him out in the night means I’m likely not either. Burning brush we are, and since our smoke signalsContinue reading “Belly Of The Beast”

No Diggity

Who am I to want to be a writer? And who am I to think other people will be interested in what I write? These thoughts plague, taunt and cajole me into doubt. And it’s this seed of insecurity that burrows in me like one of those creepy insect-bots from sci-fi films. But not toContinue reading “No Diggity”

Gumping with Goy

Have you ever quit something you loved out of fear? I have – writing. But I’m not ready; I tell the director, is there any way to postpone until tomorrow? And yet the stage is set; open mic, an empty chair, a spotlight, the audience has taken their seats. He takes a drag off hisContinue reading “Gumping with Goy”