Feels For Reals

“I’m feeling anxious and stressed.”

I nodded, stood, and walked to grab my “Mixed Emotions” card deck from a shelf in my office.

“Anything else you’re feeling?” I asked in the midst of handing over the 77 images accompanied with various experiences, then directed him to make two piles, one affirming the emotion and the other not.

He picked out forty cards.

Hopeless, embarrassed, afraid, ashamed, inadequate, unfulfilled, desperate, powerless, ashamed, angry, resentful, worried, afraid, shy disappointed, bored, overwhelmed, jealous, disgusted, inspired, resistant, lonely, grief, vulnerable, hateful, hopeless, irritated, confused, exhausted, unsure, creative, guilty, frustrated, panicky, sad, trapped, longing, regretful, discouraged, and depressed. 

To name a few.

My stomach feels like an elevator that has been cut loose and has gravity’s unforgiving hand at the wheel. I don’t like this feeling so I move to the floor and start stretching.

My body’s rhythmic putt soon returns, and my system idles like the well-serviced and maintained vehicle it is. Then I fill my glass with water and wait for a new couple to show up.

It’s their first session, and I’m nervous. Er, panicky.

I decide to do what’s worked for me in the past and talk to myself; It’s ok you feel this way. This is important to you. I know how much you care.

The text comes in that they’ve arrived. While heading down the stairs to the back door to greet them I remind myself, You’ve done this before. Now just be you.

And I do. And it goes well. It went really well!!! I send in a text to Dave. (I know. I know. Three exclamation points are excessive. But to be fair, so was my joy!!!)

And lastly, but not leastly, I pick up the ducklings on Friday at 3 pm. Three of them. I can’t wait!



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