Have You Ever Seen The Rain

Instead of saying, “I miss him so much,” or “I’m so angry,” try seeing what happens when you change it to, “Something in me misses him so much,” or “Something in me is so angry.” I like exercises that can shift my perspective. Especially when they take an eclipsing experience and shave it down toContinue reading “Have You Ever Seen The Rain”

The Tale of The Teeniest Rubber Chicken

Eyes sunk deep in their sockets, I trudge myself to work. Last night’s D&D session 11 pm, followed by writing and yoga, led to a late night for this sweet body of mine. I felt it, too, like a hangover. Still, when arriving at my office, snaking through its corners, and flipping on lights, IContinue reading “The Tale of The Teeniest Rubber Chicken”

Litter Of Critters

Seeing the evidence of her disdain in session, panicky eyes, scrunching face like she’d eaten something rotten, and the defensive tone she used, it was evident how much a client I see hates how their mom nitpicks their clothes choices. But why, if the mom gets such a negative response from her daughter, does sheContinue reading “Litter Of Critters”

Bada Bing, Bada Boom

“I don’t like ’em. It’s not only the mush, but the firm. Like, pick a side, ya know?” A Tony Soprano-like client’s negative feelings towards mushrooms made the tea almost come out of my mouth and back into the cup. Thankfully I’m used to his humor. I also learned how clients cook their annual turkeys,Continue reading “Bada Bing, Bada Boom”

Counseling 911

During my internship, I sat with a woman whose anger in the session was visceral; body trembling, mouth spitting, and laser-cutting eyes. I didn’t like her, as she blamed everyone else for her problems. This time it was her kid’s fault that she’d pressed the gas pedal too hard, leading to her ultimately getting a speeding ticket.  I’dContinue reading “Counseling 911”

Writing Exercise: The Mirror

The writing exercise for last week asked me to look in the mirror for ten minutes. If this also isn’t in your comfort zone, you can empathize with my wanting to avoid it at all costs. But for the sake of the word, that is my god I dutifully abided. If you’re interested in playingContinue reading “Writing Exercise: The Mirror”

Smitten To Listen

Do you know the older radios where twisting the dial tunes in the station? I think relationships are like that; in that, you need to tune your listening and empathy skills to the different frequencies of a person in order to meet their needs. As a counselor, I know this to be accurate, as IContinue reading “Smitten To Listen”

Will You Catch Me

For eight months, I’ve navigated virtual counseling with a young client that showed up in person for the first time today. A Bath and Body Works scent hits my nose as we hug, “Well, don’t you smell good.” I say, pulling away to take in the real-life human standing before me. With the smirk, “Yeah,Continue reading “Will You Catch Me”

Feels For Reals

“I’m feeling anxious and stressed.” I nodded, stood, and walked to grab my “Mixed Emotions” card deck from a shelf in my office. “Anything else you’re feeling?” I asked in the midst of handing over the 77 images accompanied with various experiences, then directed him to make two piles, one affirming the emotion and theContinue reading “Feels For Reals”

Dance Magic

I’m still in disbelief over the progress between the mother and daughter I saw yesterday in session. I was so relieved and touched by their openness and vulnerability that I cried. Because just last week, they wouldn’t even look at each other. And after seeing their painful pattern of attacking and shutting down, I wasn’tContinue reading “Dance Magic”