Previous I knew I would not allow it to happen again. With just the right internal key, something in me had finally Rubik’s-cubed itself into clarity—not loudly, not triumphantly, but with a quiet internal click. A recalibration. The dusted fingerprints show: I no longer abandon myself. With tightly pressed sound-blocking earmuffs on, I take myContinue reading “Autopsy of the Self (Book Part 37)”
Tag Archives: Mental Health
Shattering A Illusion (Book Part 36)
Previous I’m often assaulted by my own physiology. The external world is my puppet master — its thick, hairy hand pulling at my strings as I move, speak, perform. Then, after, I scurry off behind the curtain, hyperventilating backstage with my head between my legs, the crumpled brown paper bag rapidly filling and emptying. TheContinue reading “Shattering A Illusion (Book Part 36)”
Alright, Alright, Alright
What’s funny is, I used to not write. I loved it, but didn’t do it. I’d go months thinking about it—like a lover across the sea I couldn’t touch. I romanticized and idealized, falling madly deeper into a delusion. Head over heels with an idea. Which was fine, except I wasn’t actually writing. Now IContinue reading “Alright, Alright, Alright”
Dehumanize No More
As comments piled beneath my TikTok video, I went into overdrive—delete, block, repeat. But with six clients stacked back-to-back, barely minutes between them to ground myself, I had to call it. For my sanity and security, I shut off the comments. Turning them off meant certain death—at least in algorithm-speak. TikTok rewards comments: Ooh, peopleContinue reading “Dehumanize No More”
Makin’ Trauma Our Bitch
Not everyone can wiggle their hips in a way that defies gravity when it comes to hula hooping. It takes desire, practice, failing, and trying again. As a kid, I watched a hula hoop competition and told myself I’d beat the top time—maybe not that day, but in my own backyard, barefoot in freshly cutContinue reading “Makin’ Trauma Our Bitch”
Wishin’ and Hopin’
What’s your superpower? Mine? Hang on. I just asked the question—give me a second. It’s not breadmaking. I proudly baked two loaves and tried to gift the second to my neighbors, only to find both houses already had fresh loaves of their own. Like, straight-out-of-the-oven. It’s not pushups, or weeding, or practicing Spanish, unless “yoContinue reading “Wishin’ and Hopin’”
Meat, Missionaries, and Moments Lost
This is a culture I don’t know anything about, Dave said as we walked back to the pool, both of us dripping in our freshly soaked swimsuits, taking a short pause from our swim. Let me set the scene. It felt like we’d been lured into a dark alley in some seedy corner of Vegas.Continue reading “Meat, Missionaries, and Moments Lost”
The Rocks We Carry
I verbally slapped a client today.The words were out before I could catch them. Not cruel, but sharp. A line too direct, a little too unfiltered. Immediately, I scrambled into damage control:“Are we good?” We are.And yet—I’m in my head about it. I used to get caught in this spiral far more often post-session. WonderingContinue reading “The Rocks We Carry”
How Not to Burn Your Hand on a Hot Conversation
You might think I’d be facing the pool, where Evelyn is testing out the still-curled, Styrofoam-like floatie that looks like a magic carpet, and Dave, still travel-drained, sits poolside absorbed in his Kindle. But no, I’m turned towards the West, where the bird feeding and watering station stands. The latest addition is a suet blockContinue reading “How Not to Burn Your Hand on a Hot Conversation”
The Mask They Built (Book Part 31)
Previous I’ve been writing this book for fourteen years. Terrifying feelings acting like imagined “Do Not Enter” signs have often felt real enough to stop me cold. Sometimes I could only manage a paragraph. A page a month. Honesty is required. But real honesty—the kind that pricks one’s finger and draws blood—shook me to myContinue reading “The Mask They Built (Book Part 31)”
Going On 40 