“I need to put water in my belly,” Evelyn said, hiccupping and running to find her glass. Remembering what my Mom used to do for me, yet unsure of its efficacy, I said, “Come on, let’s try a teaspoon full of sugar.”
“Yes, sugar!” She shouted in delight.
Sitting on Dave’s lap for a pre-bedtime book reading session, she’s licking and smacking her mouth with no belly convulsions in sight.
And it’s not an old wive’s tale, after all, says google; a study from 1971 found 19 out of 20 people cured hiccups with sugar.
As promised, I picked out a sloth for my laptop’s background as a reminder to slow down. It’s cute! Laying tummy down on a branch, elbows bent, hands tucked to cheek, with the best slothy grin you’ve ever seen.
I once saw a sloth on a back road in Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica. A never before seen traffic jam of two cars had stopped in front of us, and the passengers got out and circled it. I, too, got out, amazed at how slow they moved. Later I learned that they frequently fall from trees. Every week, in fact. Their bodies are basically designed to sustain falls up to 100 feet.
This morning I saw a friend’s photo with 128 likes on Facebook. Mine only got 28. Seeing the number 5x larger than mine caused me to feel less about myself.
I’m reminded of a speech Jim Carrey gave that I listened to while scrolling TikTok yesterday.
I am two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey. When I’m going to sleep at night, I’m not just a guy going to sleep. I’m two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey going to get some well-needed shut-eye.
And when I dream I don’t just dream any old dreams. No sir. I dream about being three time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey. Because then I would be enough. It would finally be true.
And I could stop this, this terrible search.
How do I untie my worth from gift-giving? Or writing? Or Facebook likes? Is it possible?
My thought is no from where I sit in front of a lit propane fire pit with a huge fluffy blanket wrapped around my shoulders on an outdoor loveseat. But what I can do is remind myself of the value I provide. Like, for starters, feeding sugar to my toddler fifteen minutes before bedtime. Juuuuust kidding.
If I look for my worth, I’ll find it. Like in kind expressions of care; restarting my face-washing regimen at the start and end of the day, writing this blog, and getting good rest.
Speaking of good rest, good night.
Love, Jaclynn
Going On 40 