I received this message: “Hello Jaclynn, this is Susanna (Peter’s partner). I see that you tried to reach him. My dear Peter passed away. I’m texting because calling makes me too emotional.” I told her: I had hoped this wasn’t the message I’d receive—but I also wondered. Peter was one of the dearest friends I’veContinue reading “My Friend, Peter: A New Beginning”
Tag Archives: death
Loving and Letting Go: A Journey With Grief
At 16, I stuffed the shock of giving CPR to my dying mom deep inside. I’d talk about it matter-of-factly, like a judge handing down a life sentence—utterly void of emotion. No one taught me how to grieve, so along with burying her six feet under, I buried my feelings too. I said I wasContinue reading “Loving and Letting Go: A Journey With Grief”
Under the Surface (Book Part 11)
Previous I walk up the sidewalk, the same one I’d mindlessly been up thousands of times. Like a dream, the familiarity and comfort splinters; I’m Alice inside the looking glass. Up is down, but with a directive: Say goodbye. Through the ajar front door, I walk. Down the eight-foot brick entry. Into a much too-litContinue reading “Under the Surface (Book Part 11)”
Tragic Realities
The person I want to be listens to NPR. “Make love not war” and “Send nudes, not nukes” buttons adorn her green Smithsonian tote bag as she attends peace rallies, fighting for an idealistic stance on peace. But in reality, I cry. Exiting toward Southcenter Blvd after a 35-minute drive north on I-5, I’m maxedContinue reading “Tragic Realities”
Echoes of the End
After deeming surgery on the lining of his aorta too risky, my close friend’s dad was sent home to be with his family and to receive hospice care. He’s likely finished the steak dinner he requested, perhaps sleeping, or maybe savoring the time he has left with his wife and daughter. I’m fascinated by life’sContinue reading “Echoes of the End”
In the Corner of my Mind
I’m called in for one last bedtime request. Evelyn needs her llama-patterned blanket pulled up higher and asks, “Remember when you told me a lady sewed this for me?” “Yes, it was Judy, and she used to call you ‘my lil peanut,’” I reply.“My lil’ Peanut! I want to meet her again.”“Me too,” I say,Continue reading “In the Corner of my Mind”
Death Becomes Us
A bee-hive sensation swarms my chest, and I wish to swat it away. I’m scared I’m missing something in a young client’s eating disorder diagnosis. It feels – rather is – excessive, and the more I learn about the specialist’s treatment approach I doubt it’s what the client’s needing. The judgment call is mine inContinue reading “Death Becomes Us”
Boss Stage Healing
At recess in 5th, maybe 6th grade, I used to jump rope double-dutch. If you’ve never held your hands up to catch the rhythm of the ropes, rushed into the eye of the slapping lasso, stutter-stepped until panting, then raced out to survive the whip of the cord, you’ve missed quite a thrill, as wellContinue reading “Boss Stage Healing”
Dead Man Talking
How come we don’t party like it’s 1999 or sing the Lion King’s “The Circle of Life” from the rooftops loudly when somebody dies? As you might guess, I’m contemplating bolstering up the rituals I do after the death of a loved one. This thought thread comes shortly after the death of Billie Murray ourContinue reading “Dead Man Talking”
Flat You, Lance
I’m bored, like excruciatingly, nails running down a chalkboard bored. And I have no clue what I want to write. Maybe it’s what’s happening in Ukraine that’s causing me to feel down. Or perhaps it’s the impact of the death of our friend. Or maybe it’s both of these, along the impending responsibility of whenContinue reading “Flat You, Lance”
Going On 40 