Suicide notes, one of the final actions of a person’s life, have always interested me.
I recently found a study that analyzed 23 suicide notes with the goal of adding to the literature on suicide prevention. The results showed that over 80% of the notes included shame, guilt, or an apology in their contents.
Which made me wonder, what is it about these emotions that can lead someone to take their own life?
Well, first off I don’t think it’s the emotions that are the killer – as in and of themselves, they are not harmful. In moderation, guilt, and shame help us take accountability for our behavior.
But I know we are the hardest on ourselves.
Long after a trauma or abusive situation ends, our minds can haunt us with reminders of what a shitty, unworthy, and unlovable person we are.
So when the abuse turns inescapable due to self-directed hatred, doesn’t it make sense we would look for a way out?
One of the most helpful things that broke this cycle for me was to join a support group. There I was able to open up about the unforgivable things I believe I did, observe others practicing self-forgiveness, and learn ways to change the relationship I had with myself.
I don’t know where I’d be otherwise.
That’s it for tonight. Keep up the good fight.
Love,
Jaclynn
Going On 40 